The Phoenix Child
by Ayesha Raees
Summary: Torn, hurt and broken by her surroundings as she is fated to live a life of great pain and pure power. She is the phoenix's child. The prophecy will be fulfilled. Read and review.
1. Alone

**The Phoenix Child**

**Chapter 1: Alone**

I looked out of the window and saw children playing in the grounds of the academy; scurrying here and there around the swings. I shivered despite of the warmth and looked away, my crimson orbs staring now at the black board.

A part of me wanted to go outside and play but another part of me was afraid that nobody would accept me. Despite my appearance and my natural powers, I was a coward inside, a shy person or just plain cold. I was afraid that if I went outside, I will be send back but with tears because nobody accepted me at all. They said I am strange, that I am ugly… that I was better off dead. And it was kind of ironic to see kids my age, that is only six, will have such a colorful words to chose from when insulting. I never said a word to them and they call me weird or scary… or ugly. I was like them, I wanted to play too. No, I argued with myself now, I wasn't like them… I was cursed. There was something inside me that made me act like how I was. Something I hated and it was something that made other people hate me.

I sighed sadly and then looked at the window again but this time my gaze was not outside but at the diminished reflection of myself on the glass window. I was red… literally. My long, straight red hair ended till the middle of my back and a thick layer covered my forehead and my ears. My big eyes were crimson and glowed with pain and hurt from which I was suffering. My complexion was pale… so pale that sometimes people thought that I did not eat at all. I wore a white button-up shirt but it was hidden by a black poncho that I wore on top. My skirt was black and so were my socks and shoes. I glared at the black bags under my eyes that were because of lack of sleep.

The bell rang loudly, pulling me out of my thoughts. I wearily looked at the clock that hung on the wall, just above the black board. Recess was over and soon the children would start coming in and the classes would continue. I liked to sit in the class during recess; like I have a second choice.

The door banged open and my classmates came in, laughing, joking and hitting each other cheerfully. They ignored me as they took their seats. But a few did look at me; their eyes full of arrogance abhor and disgust. I cowered under their stares and bit my bottom lip, scared before slouching down on my seat.

* * *

The blond look haughtily at her and rolled her eyes as she slouched in her seat, giving an expression that she was innocent and scared. 

"Humph, I hate that girl… why does she even bother to come to an academy?" she muttered to a small timid pink haired girl who blushed slightly and looked at the alone red-haired girl that was sitting by the window.

Confusion lingered in her green emerald eyes as she stared at the blond girl intently.

"What do you mean, Ino-chan?" she asked as her best friend looked at her.

"I mean Sakura is that she is that why does she comes to the academy to train and become a ninja when she already have powers that so many people fear of," Ino explained as she ran her hand through her gorgeous blond hair.

Sakura blinked as she slowly understood what Ino was trying to say.

"But Ino-chan… she kind of looks scared," she slowly muttered as she looked at the red-haired girl who held a slightly pained expression.

Ino looked at Sakura and sighed slowly.

"Never judge a book by its cover. She might look scared in front but inside she is a demon… a real demon,"

Before Sakura could say another word, they were joined by a brown haired boy with a puppy on his head. Red marks shone on his plump cheeks as he keenly looked at them.

"Hello ladies… couldn't help overhearing the conversation but have you heard about the latest news?" he said, grinning and showing his sharp teeth.

Ino at once looked at him, interested; her arms on her desk and her chin resting on them as she looked at him with her big blue eyes.

"Really Kiba? It amazes me how you find about stuff so fast… so what's the latest," she said excitedly.

Kiba's blush vanished as he narrowed his eyes and looked at the red-haired girl. He brought his face closer to the girls so they can hear him whisper.

"I went for a walk yesterday with Akamaru here… I was going through the path in the forest when I saw her,"

There was a minute silence as the three children narrowed their eyes at the red-haired girl.

"I heard pants and cries from the Lake Tsuki and I couldn't help exploring what was happening. So I left the path to see what was going on and what I saw, totally terrified me,"

Kiba was sweating now, his face pale and he gulped loudly.

"Go on," Ino encouraged him.

Kiba inhaled sharply and closed his black colored eyes.

"She was covered in blood, her clothes were torn and she looked severely injured. First I thought that somebody had hurt her but the next thing I heard, made all my suspicions wrong. She looked up at the sky, her face covered in fresh blood and tears started to flow out of her eyes and then she yelled, in pure anger I must say, 'BURN THEM ALL'"

"Burn them all? But that doesn't make sense," Sakura whispered as she stared at the red-haired girl who was blankly staring at the opened book in front of her.

"Of course it does Sakura! It means that she has just killed someone," Ino harshly whispered at her.

Sakura's eyes widened as she shivered, imagining the whole story in her mind.

"They say she has killed many and will kill if anyone stands in her way. She is a demon," Kiba said as his dog, Akamaru barked from under his jacket.

Ino sighed as she sat straight herself up and looked at the ceiling. She suddenly sensed her best friend shivering so she immediately put a relaxing arm around her.

"The best way is to stay away from her because as I told you before; never judge a book by its cover,"

* * *

The meaning of life for her was like a purpose of a feather for a fish. The feather will never reach the fish anyway but will float away on the water. Just like her. 

She would never truly live her life, she always wished that she was like normal people, eat and play like normal people. And like normal people, be loved.

I shook my head and sighed silently as I walked out of the academy. Today was a horrible day as usual; Iruka-sensei wanted everyone to practice a special nin-jutsu but in order to that, they had to be paired in groups. And like every activity, she was left alone to do her own work.

_'I wonder what is teamwork and equal participation. I wonder what really happens in groups and teams… will I ever be a part of __it._' I thought solemnly as I turned the corner and suddenly bumped into someone.

I staggered back but thankfully did not fall because I knew what would happen if I fall… the thing that was in me, would take over. Would destroy and burn everything.

I blankly stared at the boy in front of me and I again felt a pang of pain in my heart when he stared back… his eyes frightened and his body numb.

I waited for an apology, for a remark, for a comment, for a movement… for anything but none came.

I ignored him after a few minutes of waiting for a reply and walked passed him as quickly as my chibi little legs could go. Apart of my rumors, I was still a kid… the fact that everyone ignored.

I hadn't gone far when I heard a couple of kids running to his friend who had bumped into me earlier.

"Chouji! Are you alright?" someone shouted at him.

"Yeah I am fine… it was just a bump, I am not dead," the plump boy said cheekily.

"What a relief! There I thought you were about to go in flames!"

"Did you even saw her? She looked so scary!"

"Yeah a demon!"

"Did you hear? She killed someone a few days ago! Kiba told me!"

"Whew… glad it wasn't me!"

The taunts, the humiliation, the criticisms, the remarks… it burned into my flesh stronger than the fire that was already burning in my chest. My head spun and I stopped in my tracks, trying to control the emotions that had suddenly filled me. Every word had slashed my glass covered heart, not breaking it but giving tremendous amount of pain. I was a good hider and I could easily control my emotions instead of going berserk and hurting everyone.

But I was weak if compared to the monster inside me. I was VERY weak… the monster was so much stronger and it wasn't a good controller at all. The taunts and criticisms provoked him and made him angry. The insult that I was getting made him go mad and when that happened, it took over me and even how much I fought, nothing could control him. He hated everyone who jeered at me because I was him and he was me… we were joined by faith and God… a prophecy that has to completed in order for me to return to mortality.

I dropped by bag and turned around at the children who at once stopped talking and stared at my in pure fright. My crimson eyes were now still and cold and an invisible force blew at my long crimson hair and my clothes. I gritted my teeth and looked at them fiercely, hating the way they cowered when they saw me. I wished that they would stand up to me and fight me and treat me like they did everyone else.

But my inner self was angry; he wanted too much that could be given to him.

The fire in my chest burn more strongly than ever and the ends of my hair lit by orange and red flames of fire. A red aura began to flow through my body, lighting the scared children's faces as they slowly backed away. A thread of fire appeared out of nowhere and started to circle me protectively… as if keeping me away from their harsh comments.

But scaring them wasn't the part that the demon in me wanted… he wanted to teach them a lesson. A lesson they would never forget.

Fire rose from my feet like a wave, full of crimson, orange and yellow colors as it slowly went towards the kids who screamed in fright and terror. I wanted to stop, I didn't want to hurt anyone but I couldn't stop… the thing in me was controlling my body now and doing everything I did not want to do. And it's quite ironic when the monster leaves me when its time to face the consequences of what my demon have done earlier.

But the fire never touched the children's skin because the next thing I knew, somebody had blocked the wave of fire with a strange nin-jutsu. The barrier of water had stopped my fire and now it retreated back to me, suddenly scared of the angry cruel man that stood in front of the water barrier which protected the cowering children.

I hated my demon for this. Now that it was time to face the consequences of what had happened, he would leave me alone and then come out after I was well punished. It made me angry that the demon refused to be one and face the results as one but I got punished for his doings.

Why?

Because I was weak and I couldn't stop him from conquering me.

The fire around me vanished and my hair fell on my back gently, now extinguished. I blinked, my eyes turning from steel cold to a kid's innocent ones.

I frighteningly looked at the man in front of me who glared at me with his cold green eyes before making a few hand seals and the barrier of water disappeared. The children at once scramble to their feet and ran away, leaving the man and me alone in the street. I wish I could just run away like that… run away from the horrible place I lived in, from the people I call my family and from my fate.

But I couldn't… I could never.

I gulped slightly as I picked up my bag from the ground and looked at the man again. His green eyes were fixed on me as his purple chin length hair fluttered with the wind. His tanned skin stretched over his strong looking muscles.

"Kimiko…lets go to the compound," he muttered coldly before walking past me with a last hatred filled glance. It was strange why he never called the compound "home" when talking to me (which was rarely). I heaved a sorrow filled sigh before following him, my head bowed down. I know what was coming at me when I reached the compound… I would probably get tortured again.

"Yes father," I muttered as I followed him, trying to forget whatever I was thinking.

* * *

I screamed loudly as I fell on my knees, my crimson hair falling in front of my face as I grabbed my head tightly; my nails digging into my scalp as I tried to maintain the painful throbbing in my head. I coughed blood, crimson red. The pain in my chest increased as tears started to flow down my cheeks. 

"Stop father, please," she whispered, slowly.

But he didn't seem to listen. He raised both of his hands and an electricity wave erupted into her body, making her scream in pain and agony. She fell on the ground face first, on the verge of unconsciousness.

"Get out of my face, you filthy maggot," her father sneered angrily.

Sometimes I was thankful to the phoenix, it sometimes saved me from more torturing, like now… when my father had almost killed me and I have shed countless drops of blood and my energy was nil. And then the phoenix would help me. It would gather me in its fire and take me away from him.

A natural teleporting jutsu.

I would find myself in front of Lake Tsuki, the lake the phoenix always bought me when I was hurt.

Sometimes I didn't know what was going on in my life. Sometimes the things I most hated, would love me and the things I wanted to love, would always hate me.

My mother loved me, she told me that every day but I always thought that if she loved me then why didn't she tell my father to stop hurting me? That it wasn't my fault I was like this?

The phoenix said that she was lying and I think I agree with it. My brother, the heir of the family is a prodigy (of course) but it's patronizing to see that he only cares about himself rather than anybody else. Not even mother, never me. All he cares about is about father and being heir.

I grabbed my hand as my phoenix healed my wounds slowly and steadily.

Sometimes I wished that I would become a ninja quickly and run way from Konoha, to somewhere where people accepted me for whom and what I am. To the place where I will never see my family, where there would be no rumors.

A place called heaven.

* * *

**HELLO! Did you like it? please do tell! and read and review!**


	2. Exam

**The Phoenix Child**

**Chapter tw****o**

_**Exam**_

There was this boy in my class who everyone called stupid; I heard he was also a loser (like me), alone (like me) and lost (like me). But there was a big difference between him and me. He was never down and yet he was confident even though everyone insulted him and his dream. He had an aim in his life even though he was, like me, left alone and was insulted by everyone. Whenever I looked at him, he had a big smile on his tan, whisking face and would be so cheerful that the other person will wonder where he got so much energy.

I didn't know how he could be like that. He had been insulted in front of my eyes (sometimes by my father and brother) and he was usually sitting alone in the park. It was his third year at the academy and yet he still didn't care that he would fail or not. My phoenix told me that he had a demon too and his parents died, saving him but his demon was different from mine as it was forced in and sealed into him when he was a mere baby. It was sickening. Not the fact that he was forced to live the life he wasn't fated to but it was sickening to see that his parents sacrificed their lives for him.

I would imagine that if I was in trouble so will my parents sacrifice their lives for me… I wasn't sure about mother but I was certainly sure that my father and my brother will probably (and literally) dance at my funeral in pure happiness. I hung my head lower, allowing my long red hair to fall in front of my even scarier crimson orbs.

Today, I turned twelve and even though nobody cares about my birthday, I was quite tensed. Not that somebody will throw me a surprise party (yeah as if) but today was the graduating exam. Today, if I pass, I will become a kunoichi and represent my village. Then I would be placed on a team and then I would complete missions.

I was glad that something different would happen and I _might _even make friends. But the thing I was the most excited about was me being in a team.

I had never been on a team or a group before. Usually, Iruka-sensei would place the class in groups to work on a certain project or for training but I was left alone because, obviously, nobody wanted me. Iruka-sensei would look at me and smile, pitifully, and say "I am sorry Kimiko, maybe next time," or "The kids don't want you but I will help you train," … though sometimes his words were comforting but my phoenix can see right through them. The thing I hated most was pity. Why? Because I never got it and my phoenix told me that as long as we are one, I will never need it.

So slowly, his words disappeared and whenever it was time to work in groups, I sedately, walked out of the chatting children and started the activity alone.

I tapped my foot on the marbled floor and looked slightly up to see the loud demon blond guy yapping away happily, saying that he would be a Hokage one day like it was the most easiest thing to do but I did admire his courage. His name was Uzumaki Naruto. I could see quite clearly that he had the power to become powerful and even, become a Hokage one day. I shrugged inwardly. I was a good observer and it was easy to see those hateful faces when my so called classmates looked at me.

Usually on battle sequences, I would rather fight like a rag doll on strings so I was horrible in tai-jutsu but most of the times; I depended on my phoenix for power. The class was quite loud and now and then, Iruka will enter the room and called out a child's name so he could go and take his exam and get examined by the Third Hokage himself.

"NARUTO!" the pink haired girl bellowed. I know her as I have been usually picked by her. Her name was Haruono Sakura and she was very beautiful. Most of the boys' populations loved her but her heart belonged to the last Uchiha survivor who didn't like to talk at all. Her phoenix will laugh at them all the time but it soon got bored because of the same routine. Sakura liked Uchiha; Naruto will glare at Uchiha and then tease Sakura until she gets so angry that she hit him across his head. And all that time, the Uchiha will simply look out of the window like nothing had happened at all.

The classroom door opened again and Iruka poked his head out. He gave a small smile at the students.

"Yesha Kimiko, you are next,"

Silence spread through the whole class as they either gulped quietly or stared at me. My hair, still hiding my eyes, fell back to my elbows as I stood up slowly. I walked out of the crammed desks and with the last glance at the staring quiet students, was about to walk out of the classroom when a shout erupted the silence.

"Burn in hell Ugly Red," Sakura shouted loudly, her right hand cupped around one corner of her mouth. And as soon as the disturbance was made, the whole class fell over, laughing.

I shivered and my phoenix stirred inside me, threateningly and as quickly as I could, walked out of the classroom, the urge of slamming the door behind me was useless. I looked up Iruka-sensei as he sighed loudly and started to escort me towards where the Hokage was.

"Are you nervous?" He asked slowly. Though he tried to stop the jeering student but his try went useless because he always thought that the way everyone treated me was wrong. I appreciated that and my phoenix relaxed inside me.

"Not really. I know I will pass but…" I hesitated.

"But what?" Iruka-sensei pressed.

I lowered my head, believing I had said too much. I knew that if any word will reach my family or my classmates, I would be dead… literally.

"Just tensed about the after results," I muttered quietly.

I was tensed that which team they will put me in, I was tensed that what would my clan will think of me when they will come to realize that I was a kunoichi, I was tensed about the missions, about my sensei… I was just plain tensed.

I stopped in front of a door and Iruka patted my back gently.

"Don't worry," he smiled "everything will be alright,"

_'I wish I can say the same thing,' _I thought and replied him with a small nod before knocking on the door. There was a loud 'come in' and I entered, closing the door behind me as quietly as I could.

The Third Hokage was sitting behind a desk, complied by jounins on either side. A huge stack of paperwork was scrawled on the desk untidily and the Hokage had his chin rested on his palms as he stared sedately at me.

I stepped in the middle of the room and pushed back my crimson bangs out of my red bloodshot eyes and fixing them on the Hokage. I sensed the jounin on his right side shiver and the jounin on the left side quickly look away.

"Yesha Kimiko," The Hokage began in his old voice and picked up a sheet of paper from the desk and stared into it.

My heart thumped and I clinched my hands into fists. I quietly gulped as I sensed the phoenix inside me move restlessly.

"Yes," I timidly said in a small voice.

"I see that your performance in the academy wasn't bad at all. You are an above average student and worked hard but being a ninja is hard and after graduating, you will realize that completing missions isn't just the only thing that a shinobi must do. Are you up for the challenge?"

I sensed my phoenix get enraged at the whole commentary and I nodded, bravely, staring straight into his eyes.

The old man smiled.

"Well then, let's see your shadow replication. You have to create two," The Hokage said, leaning back in his chair.

I nodded before making a few seals; I closed my eyes and concentrated my chakra. Energy flowed but I had perfect control on it.

"Shadow replication jutsu," I muttered and my eyes shot open as my two replicas stood side by side me.

The Hokage nodded in approval and wrote something on the sheet of paper.

"Transform yourself and your replicas into me," he said.

_'Well, that's pretty easy,' _I thought and concentrated my chakra. There was a loud poof and I felt my body change.

Success.

The Hokage nodded again before putting down the paper. He smiled widely at me.

"Congratulations, you pass," he said.

I turned back to my real form and my clones disappeared. I inhaled deeply before giving them a smile and bowing in respect.

"Thank you," I muttered before straightening up and turning to go.

My phoenix cooed in irritation.

**"They called that an exam?"** it muttered.

_'I passed. I am so happy. Now, at last, my clan will acknowledge me,' _I thought, happily as Iruka-sensei gave me the leaf headband and I walked outside.

**"Don't get ****so ****far ahead of yourself kid," **

I utter a final sigh and slipped my hands into my pockets.

* * *

Nobody from my family came to my graduation. Nobody. I solemnly looked at my classmates as they laughed happily and hugged their parents. Some saying to give them whatever they wished for, some laughing in glee, some sitting together taking their pictures… their forehead protectors shining under the sun.

I lowered my eyes as I stared at them sadly. I had asked my brother to come but he had just arrogantly yelled at me that I was useless and I will probably fail and he didn't had time to waste on such pity things. He said that I should ask father before he just walked away from me like I was a huge burden.

The problem from me talking to my father was that I hated him because he hated me. I overheard him talking to my mother that I can't possibly be their child or something like that. The voices were quite muffled and I didn't understand properly. My father, whenever I did something bad, tortured me like a prisoner. I wanted, from the bottom of my heart that he would acknowledge me but he had eyes only for my brother was older than me by five years.

My mother wasn't a ninja so she hardly understood my babbling. But I liked it when she encouraged me anyway. But she didn't come either to my graduation. I always got confused when I saw the sudden personality changes in my mother, sometimes she would be so nice and the other time, she would just look at me in fright and ignore me. I got confused by those actions but slowly as I grew, I started to realize that my mother only ignored me when father was around. My mother didn't like to fight and she avoided it at all costs, especially if her opponent was my father.

I tried to understand all what was happening but I thought the whole procedure of living was cruel so I started to think positively that I will work hard and try my best to get acknowledged by everyone including my clan.

I pushed myself from the darkest corner of the wall where I stood brooding at them and again, allowed my bangs to cover my eyes. I did that when I didn't want to face anyone or anything.

I started for the path, ignoring the whispers of discontent behind me when I suddenly spotted the blond boy sitting on the swing, a sad expression on his face and he looked ready to cry.

_'Wow,' _I thought _'he must have failed,'_

I hesitated to go over to him to say something but my phoenix had other ideas. He forced me to carry on my path like I have seen nothing.

_'Phoenix, what are you doing?' _I muttered under my breath.

**"Don't disturb the flow**** kid. He isn't in the mood to talk to anyone," **

I sighed yet again and dragged my feet to the Yesha Compound. I gripped the hidden leaf head protector in my hand and kicked an innocent looking stray stone on the ground.

"Father, look I passed!"

"That's my son! I knew you could do it! Today is going to be a celebration!"

I stopped in my tracks and looked sideways and saw a couple of kids and their parents.

"Mom, I am now going to be an excellent ninja!"

"I am going to make you proud!"

"Well done!"

"We are going to treat you to whatever you want,"

I dropped my head so low that my chin was touching my chest and I started to run. Through the crowded streets, across the lake, through the forest trees and stopped in front of a huge compound of Yesha. I panted lightly and quickly rubbed the tears that had gathered in my eyes with my sleeve.

I inhaled sharply and pocketed the forehead protector. I walked quietly into the compound, the guards at the gate looking at me in hate and dislike. I shivered quietly under their glare and quickened my pace towards my house.

The lane was full as usual with the Clan's people. Laughing, joking, sweeping or just gossiping… the era of business and happiness floated into the evening's air. So many people with purple hair, so many people with tan skins, so many people with sharp emerald eyes… I felt like I didn't at all belong there, a person who was mistaken to be a Yesha, a person whose features were far away from beautiful and graceful… I was called Ugly Red for a reason. Walking through the lane towards my house was the biggest pain that I have to go through each every day; the people will stop their activities and stare at me with hatred. Their eyes full of fear. They said, that includes everyone except my mother, that I was a curse placed on the Yesha Clan and I was a sign (being red and being a part of the prophecy) that the Yesha Clan will soon face its downfall. The truth was, I was mere a child but instead of treating me like one, they treated me like I was some kind of infected monster.

The compound was not my home; the house was not my home but only a place on which I depended to live in. That was the definition for it to me… a place to live, eat and sleep.

The walking-to-the-end-of-the-lane torture ended and I walked around the corner and into a big beautiful dojo. I stepped in, took off my shoes and walked into the kitchen where usually my mother worked. I prayed to myself that she would be alone so she could listen to what I have to say and praise me… she only did that when she wasn't in the presence of my father or my big brother. It was called hidden love, I guess but I sometimes wondered if my mother was really afraid of my father or not.

I entered the kitchen and saw a young woman bend down over the sink as she strained some noodles with a strainer. She turned slowly, pushing her purple locks away from her turquoise eyes and then she looked at me.

For a minute she hastily looked around and when she saw that I was the only one there, gave a mind dazzling smile down at me. She put the strainer back into the sink and bent down to pat my head.

My mother was beautiful and according to some rumors, I found out that she was the most beautiful girl in the whole village when she was a teenager. Though now her shine had decreased than before, her face was still young and beautiful; her laugh was still melting and her smile was still loving.

Though it might have been a huge disappointment when I was born as an ugly daughter with no talent and they had to keep me as a monster not as a daughter.

I pulled out my forehead protector and my mother's eyes shone in admiration. She patted my head again and kissed my forehead, pushing the excess of red hair back first. I blushed.

"Well done, Kimiko. If you continue to work this hard, you will become something big," she said as she gestured me to sit down on the table. I nodded, blushing, and sat down, laying the forehead protector on the wooden table gently.

"But nobody came for my graduation," I protested quietly as my mother put some green-tea in front of me. I looked at the green liquor and sipped it quietly… it was steaming hot but it satisfied me. The hotter it was, the better I felt… that was one thing good about having a phoenix as a companion.

My mother face closed.

"Everyone is very busy," she said after a while.

And I knew it was a lie. Nobody cared, _that _was the truth.

I wanted to say something else but the kitchen door slid opened and my big brother came in. My mother quickly shuffled with the stew and sniffed at the rising aroma.

My brother truly inherited my parent's good features. Tan skin, turquoise eyes and wavy purple hair… though most of the Yesha Clan had green eyes, my brother and my mother had turquoise. And obviously I had red. My brother was very good looking and the fact that he was a genius as well because he was already in the ANBU and he was only seventeen, made my father very proud.

My mother was too and I think he deserve this kind of attention as he have achieved so much at such a young age, I was impressed too. But I didn't hate him for that; I hated him because of his arrogant, obnoxious attitude. I hated him because he made me feel low. I hated him because he hated me.

So it wasn't surprising when he entered the kitchen and threw a piercing hatred filled glare at me, making me shiver again. My phoenix stirred inside restlessly and I concentrated on the green liquor which was slightly shaking because of my hands.

My brother sat across me, his eyes falling onto my forehead protector. He smirked coldly and I jolted slightly.

"So you passed huh?" he said in a cold seething whisper which made me look at him. I wasn't scared of him but that did not mean that I didn't obey him, he was just a small figure of my father but I despised my father a lot and I was scared of him with the bottom of my heart.

"Yes," I replied softly.

My brother grinned menacingly.

"That's just too bad, now you will become a burden to your team and fail every mission. Your teammates would hate you so much that they won't want you on their team… now isn't that _bad,_"

I didn't answer him… I was concentrating on my beating heart which was paining terribly. I didn't want to cry in front of him but I was afraid at what he had said… it was true after all, I was an unwanted heap of trash.

My mother turned, she had been listening to the conversation but hadn't scolded brother for the words he had brutally used. I winced inwardly… typical mother.

"Good evening mother, sorry I wasn't at dinner last night, meetings can be very hectic," my brother said calmly.

I tried not to scoff, he wasn't at a meeting last night, and he was just hanging out with his idiotic friends, probably dating or sparring while mother was so worried that she hadn't eaten anything herself. Father hadn't said anything because I was there; there were no conversation if I was there.

My mother kindly smiled at him and placed a mug of green tea in front of him. She sat down beside him and gave a small tired sigh.

"My little boy Kyoshi is getting too old for my liking," she began, pouting like a kid.

My brother looked at her and rolled his eyes.

"Oh mother…"

And then went back to the tea. I felt a ping of jealousy inside me, if only mother said something like that to me in front of my father or brother, it would make my day.

"Kyoshi, I hope you don't have a meeting tonight… I am making your favorite," my mother began again, a hint of plead in her voice.

"Now mother, you know that"

"Its fish noodle ramen,"

There was an awkward silence.

"Fine," my brother muttered under his breathes and gave a small smile towards my mother.

"Well now, that's the Kyoshi I know," My mother giggled.

Blah blah blah, I feel like killing my brother. My mother didn't treat me like that. I hung my head gloomily and put the now empty cup on the table… I couldn't really blame him; I _am_,after all, an _extra_.

The door of the kitchen slammed open and my heart almost stopped beating. My father, a tall brooding man, stood there, his shoulders held back. I held my breathe.

He entered the kitchen and sat down without a word. My mother sent him a dazzling smile and got up to bring him some tea.

I just sat there, my hands on my knees, my shoulders in a strange position. My brother glanced at me in amusement but I was just staring at the shining surface of the forehead protector that was still lying on the wooden table.

There was no talk now, there was no talk when I was around but it looked like that my father had actually showed up in the kitchen to say something important.

He was glaring at me, irritatingly.

"Kimiko," his voice was so cold that my mother worriedly looked at me "Don't you have anything to do? Leave the room,"

I shivered quietly and stood up from the floor slowly. I picked up my forehead protector and walked out of the kitchen quietly, my eyes staring at the wooden floor, my bangs covering my face. I shut the door behind me and waited for the conversation to begin so I can at least eavesdrop some of the first few words. Mother told me once that my father had a nice laugh and it had surprised me because I didn't believe he could laugh.

"LEAVE!" an angry shout sounded from inside and I jumped before hurrying down the corridor.

I stopped in the middle of the garden, breathing harder than I was suppose to. My hand shot towards my heart and I clutched my chest… it pained.

All the noises were a distant, the flowing water of the fountain, the laughing children outside, the tweeting birds, the wind… everything, to me, was silent. I breathed in deeply and looked towards the sky.

Sunset. The blue sky was tainted with red.

Fire. Sun. Red.

And I didn't know what happened to me but I broke into a run. I ran through the lane, out of the compound, through the village and up the stairs and on top of the Hokage faces, I didn't stop until I was at the end of the rocky cliff, until I was staring at the horizon, the red warm light of the setting sun hitting my face, the warm sorrowful wind touching me, making my hair fly. A small sad smile escaped my features as my eyes gleamed at the redness of the whole scene… my first tear in years escaped down my cheek.

The sunset…

_You are pathetic._

Is…

_…Burden…_

Amazingly…

_…Extra…_

Magically…

_…Ugly Red._

Beautiful.

"Phoenix?" I asked openly.

**"Yes,"**

"Am I a bad person?"

And there was no answer as the sun disappeared behind the horizon and my fingers slipped from the velvet of the forehead protector which I was still clutching. It fell on the rocky surface, clinking loudly as it made contact.

**"Happy Birthday," **My phoenix suddenly said.

_Broken._

_Tears._

_Cries._

_Too late._

* * *

**I am back and very healthy... thank to god that is.  
I loved writing this chapter from the bottom of my heart and I loved editing it too. I have been working hard fo this story cause i love it:p  
Please comment and tell me what you think!!! PLEASE!**

**Arigatou! Ja ne.**


	3. My team?

**The Phoenix Child**

**Chapter Three  
****My team? **

I went to the compound very late at night, it was so late that the stars had disappeared and the moon looked faraway, clearly indicating that it was about morning. I did not know how the time passed so quickly with me just sitting on the rocky ground, crying and then later, wishing I was just dead. But most of the time, I just sat there thinking about what kind of fate I have and what I was going to do if this keeps up.

It was all very depressing.

I still did not want to go back to the compound but my Phoenix insisted me too because it was cold. I was cold too but I wasn't admitting it… after all, fire and coldness are totally opposite. My Phoenix told me that if I sat there one more minute, it will probably get all extinguished and something terrible would happen. It was always like that; I couldn't touch anything cold because it would probably hurt me and the Phoenix. Though I haven't experienced something like that because I was always warned by my Phoenix first. He was my first and only hope.

So I was heading home; cold, hungry, numb, tired, depressed and my eyes and head were throbbing like hell because of my continuously crying and rubbing. I wondered if my mother was awake, waiting for me, worried sick. I would be happy to see that she **did **care about me. But another part of me said that she would have gone to bed with my father just after dinner.

And I strongly agreed with that part because I was depressed.

I started dragging my feet to the stupid compound, wishing I had another place to stay the night instead of breaking in (that what my brother calls it when I usually come home). I sighed loudly, not caring that I will get into major trouble if some drunken man just passed by… though I wasn't worried about that because probably he will run away, screaming and spread another mindless rumor about me.

I looked at the slightly bright sky as I walked towards the place I clearly dreaded. Something just told me that the team selection would be a major bummer too.

* * *

I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the shiny forehead protector in my palm. I thought of tying it around my forehead like everyone else but I did not want to because it will prevent my red hair from falling onto my face. I liked it when they fell on my face and eyes, not because they gave me a scary look, but because they acted like a shield to all the people's stares, comments and dirty looks.

I thought of it tying around my neck and suddenly a depressing sarcasm came into my mind; yeah, tie it so tightly that can't breathe. My Phoenix laughed at me and I ignored him before reconsidering the idea of the neck. I suddenly twitched in irritation and nevertheless tied it around my neck loosely. I could not believe it that I spend almost ten minutes of my life, which I admit wasn't the best one, thinking where to wear the stupid forehead protector to make a _fashion statement._ I mean **who **would even care that I wear a forehead protector on my head, on my neck or even on my waist! They are going to hate me like always.

I looked at myself in the mirror again. I usually wear a combination of red and black. Nothing more or less than that except for the now blue velvet and shiny plate on my neck now. I was wearing a full sleeved red T-shirt with a black and red leather jacket with a hood on it. The black caprice weren't really tight but I like them nevertheless and my red leather combat boots were different from the rest.

Or in other words, whoever looked at me thought that I was weird, a psycho, emo and loved gore.

I yawned loudly and rubbed the sudden water from my eyes. As soon as I slipped through my window, the sun was already up and the noise of my mother making breakfast was very tempting. I never had an appetite, I just ate like I have to or I will never become a ninja like I always wanted to be. I did not like to be weak but that what I was in everyone's eyes including my father's.

I slid open the door and headed downstairs towards the kitchen. I entered with a small whisper of good morning before sitting obediently down. My mother was standing in front of the stove whereas my brother and father were in a small conversation about something. Nobody replied my good morning and they just continued doing whatever they were. I felt a pang of hurt at the ignorance but I continued staring at the wooden table blankly.

_"Phoenix?" _I thought inwardly.

**"Yes,"**

_"When the prophecy will take place, what will happen after that?" _I asked.

My mother placed some bowls of rice porridge in front of us. I took the chopsticks and picked up the bowl.

**"Well in the end, the world is either going to get destroyed into nothingness or you will destroy all evil ****in this world,"**

I helped myself to another bowl of rice. My brother raised an eyebrow at me because it was my first time taking seconds.

_"I know that but what will happen after that?" _

It took some time for my phoenix to answer me this time. I suppose he was thinking what to answer. My questions are either none or the ones which are too complicated to answer. I placed the empty bowl on the table and placed my chopsticks on top of that. I grabbed the tea and started to gulp it down. Everyone was staring at me because it was the first time I was acting like this. I don't know why but I just wanted to get out of there quickly.

**"Well I guess you get to live your own life if something good happens or you will probably die too if the world will get destroyed," **

I slammed down the glass and got up from the table quite aggressively. My mother's eyes were wide in surprise and my brother had a strange confused pout on his face and most strange of all, my father's eye brows were raised and he looked like he was glaring at me and my _very _bad manners.

I just cannot believe that I acted like that. I quickly bowed and walked out of the kitchen, not really meaning the slam on the kitchen door. I sighed out loud, maybe I was frustrated. I scowled to myself; it was so hard to figure out my emotions because all of my life I have only felt was sorrow and grief.

I walked out of my house, my red bag on my shoulders and I again jerked my head to allow my hair to fall on my face as I started to walk towards the school.

_"If I get to live, will you be there with me?" _I thought as soon as I realized.

**"I am not sure about that but I don't think so anyone of us going to live after the Day of Fire," **he replied, this time his voice soft and quiet.

I wasn't surprised at all though I again felt a million of emotions run through me that I never thought were there before. I felt slightly sick and tired. Every minute of my life, I heard bad news. I thought that the holder of the prophecy was given respect and love so that the person will not chose evil and destroy the world and all the people in it though I think everyone wants to make my life miserable so I **should** destroy the world. But obviously I won't do that even though I wished for it because I mostly hated everyone and everything including my life. Why? Because I had a huge conscience and something called, well as my phoenix says, **the power to go through pain.** The Day of Fire was the day when the prophecy would come true and until that day, I won't die. Even if that day comes after fifty years or just tomorrow. But whenever it was, I wasn't looking forward to it because I knew that something probably will go wrong. It has to and it will be… I just knew it.

And surprisingly, I didn't feel any kind of excitement when I thought about being a part of a team like I did yesterday. Maybe because I knew _something_ will go wrong and I would be left alone again.

Not that I am already.

I wondered what my father wanted to talk so urgently with my brother and my mother yesterday. I gulped quietly. I hope it wasn't about me.

The school came in my view and I saw students running around the ground, I lowered my eyes, feeling tired out. I just wanted to sit in a nice quiet **hot** place to clear my head.

**"Don't think too much, it will probably make you feel more horrible than before," **

I took the Phoenix's advice at once. I trusted him a lot and I at once cleared my head and started to walk towards my classroom.

* * *

I think my depression and the strange flow of emotions are because of no sleep. Also I think that my dark circles are even more prominent than before and as my eyes are almost half closed and I probably look like a corpse with this pale skin of mine, the students were not only muttering discontent about me but were praying, I say, very loudly to God and in the name of their loved ones that I wouldn't be on their team and they would be safe from me.

I think I am too tired to do or react in any way except that I am getting more and more irritated. My exercise of not thinking ended up as a failure as usually I occupied myself by talking to my head all the time. Bad habit, I know but, what else am I suppose to do?

Usually I don't sleep much either but I hadn't slept the day before that either because I was up all night studying because I was tensed about the exam. Now it had been two days and I feel quite sick. And if anything bad happened, I knew that I will start breathing out fire.

Which was certainly a bad sign.

So I closed my eyes and I tried to relax my brain and my soul like in meditation except the problem was that when the class acts like a fish market and there is so much screaming, no one can meditate.

I cracked my eyes and saw the most horrifying thing that almost scared me.

Uchiha and Uzumaki Naruto… were… were… **kissing?**

And my Phoenix started to laugh so loudly that I felt like joining in too. It was funny, I mean, to see something like that and I couldn't help but turn pink and slap my hand on mouth to suppress my giggles.

So this is what it feels to laugh.

They suddenly broke up and starting spitting on the floor disgustingly, their hands on their necks as though they have tasted some poison or something. Well if something like that happen to me, I would probably kill the next person and destroy the whole world… even if the person was of the opposite sex.

It was just plain **EW **when people did that. I hated it and I was **not** interested. Well, a girl like me, who can be nominated as the ugliest monster in the whole world, would of course not be interested in something like that.

And that is why it was so funny for me. Here I was, feeling so tired that I felt dead and here they were, doing something that could actually make _me _laugh. Wow, miracles do happen.

And now as the fan girls started to beat Uzumaki Naruto up like it was his fault, I removed my hand from my mouth and surprised to see that I was holding my breathe so I wouldn't laugh loudly. And at once, I bent down, and giggled silently, my shoulders shaking slightly. After a few minutes, I dried my eyes with my sleeve and looked up, my face pink with doing something I have never done before.

And something actually good happened that nobody saw me laughing. It would have been just weird if that would happen.

And then my stomach filled with dread when my eyes moved towards the Uchiha, who was standing now, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes fixed on me with an expression of total disbelief and shock on his face.

I could not believe it that of all the people in this world, **he** caught **me **laughing! I mean, sure it was funny and all but still it must be freaky for him to think that I was actually **laughing** at him.

And surprisingly I did something that I would NEVER do and I totally blame my lack of sleep and irresponsibility on my Phoenix for not stopping me because I think that I have never acted so _childishly _before.

I stick out my tongue at him and quickly turned away, jerking some red hair on my face to hide my embarrassment.

And I was relieved when Iruka-sensei entered the class and everyone took their places. Uchiha took his place too, probably thinking that I was nuts.

My Phoenix's laughter was even more deafening and embarrassing.

**"I cannot believe that you did ALL that!" **My Phoenix yelled.

I shifted my gaze on the wooden desk.

_"I think lack of sleep makes me do crazy things," _I thought.

After the class settled down, Iruka-sensei started his speech about becoming excellent ninjas and all of them had been a great experience for him to teach. Then he took out a sheet of paper to announce the names when he suddenly remembered one thing. He rubbed the back of his neck lamely.

"Oh I totally forgot, Yesha Kimiko, the Hokage wants to see you,"

It was like the whole class's attention was turned towards me, a person who was about to go to sleep, and started to whispered again. I blinked sedately. Why would the Hokage want to see me? Does he not want me to be a ninja? Has he changed his mind? Is he going to kick me out of Konoha?

I quietly got up, my body going through a series of sorrow and sadness. It was like I haven't experience laughter and childishness before; it was like I had been betrayed by kismet again and that one joyous moment was just a mistake.

I walked out of the room without another word, suddenly feeling foolish… suddenly feeling like crying. Why did I experience such joyous things when I know something was obviously going to go wrong? I quietly shut the door and started walking towards the Hokage tower, which was probably a good fifteen minutes away from the academy.

* * *

I reached the Hokage Tower in ten minutes than in fifteen. Though I was tired and all, I still ran there and now I stood just outside the door, panting. I would probably maintain my breathing before I go in because I didn't want to show any weaknesses… like it would matter for him to tell me something bad. I gulped and straightened up. The run was good and bad in one way, because of lack of sleep and energy, my legs felt numb and pained terribly. The good thing was that because of the pain, I could now see things more clearly and I had stopped yawning or giggling or something extra ridiculous that I did not how, but just happened.

I was thankful for the pain because I did not want to act like a jerk in front of the Hokage.

So, gulping again, I just knocked, trying to gather enough courage to face him and see what he wants. It wouldn't really be fair if he just went on _"I am sorry Kimiko, but you __need to quit being a ninja and get out of Konoha. You are too horrible and dangerous to be kept __here__," _

**"Didn't I tell you to stop your thinking? You are exaggering a lot," **My Phoenix said in a stern voice.

There was a loud come in from inside and closing my mind completely, I entered, shutting the door behind me as I did. I walked forward, looking at the Hokage and at the silver haired man who was leaning against the wall.

I glanced at him and saw him looking at me curiously with his one visible eye. I looked back at the Hokage, patiently.

The Hokage put down a stack of paper that he was signing and looked at me with a small smile. I tried not to twitch.

"I was expecting you Yesha Kimiko. I personally wanted to inform you something," The Hokage said in a serious voice.

I didn't answer even though my patience was wearing off. I think I sometimes do look like a corpse… no wonder the Hokage quickly went to the point.

"This year, we did not have an expecting result. Few of the students failed, leaving the graduated ones in an uneven number. So in order to create a team, we have to make an exception of the rules,"

My eyes slightly widened. No way! I could not believe it… they were not putting me on any team? Was I going to be a solo forever? Why was everything going like this?

The Hokage noticed my devastated expression and he quickly cleared his throat.

"But obviously, it wouldn't be just right for you to be left out so I decided that you stay on Kakashi's team for awhile. I mean, I know he is capable of looking after four students at a time but I also know that you have great potential as a ninja so Kakashi is extremely happy for you to be on his team,"

I quickly changed my expression into the previous one. I looked sideways at the man named Kakashi who waved a little in a friendly manner.

"Yo!" he said, smiling.

I openly twitched before looking back at the Hokage.

"For how long am I going to be on this team as an extra?" I asked, straight-forwardly, something I would never do but just did because the pain was wearing off and the tiredness was going to my head, messing up the vibrating signals.

The atmosphere became tensed. Hokage shuffled with his paper for a while, trying to think what to say. Kakashi looked at me, his smile vanished.

"You are not really an extra but a member of Team 7. But if you insist, I will change your team when the next batch graduates,"

I was about to answer with a rude remark that just popped into my head when my Phoenix took control of my actions. My eyes turned redder and a hint of orange came into it.

"Ok, is that all?" I asked. I think my voice had changed too. It was more expressionless and like a robot.

The both men were slightly taken aback.

"Yes that is all. Return to the academy and Kakashi would be there in a minute," The Hokage said after a pause.

I nodded and walked out of the door. As soon as I shut the door behind me gently, the phoenix gave back my will and I grabbed the wall beside as I panted heavily.

_"Don't do that again," _I muttered.

**"You were about to call him a really bad word Kimiko. Maybe lack of sleep is really bad for you. I won't do it again as it takes my whole power to do it if I don't use my chakra. But please do be careful," **

_"Ok fine," _

I straightened up and I suddenly heard voices from inside.

"I hope this decision was right," came the Hokage's voice.

"Don't worry. She seems to be a nice kid," Kakashi's voice was more serious than before.

"Yes I know but just be careful. She had been through a lot and I don't think that Yesha Clan is right about what they are going to do to her,"

I gulped loudly and stood on my tiptoes to listen. What were the Clan going to do?

Suddenly the door opened and I jumped back, surprised. Kakashi poked his head outside and smiled cheerfully at me shaking with embarrassment and tension of what will happen.

I suddenly panicked. I turned and ran down the hall before he could say anything, my heart beating way to fast to control it.

When I was fairly out of the Hokage tower, I let out a huge sigh.

Unbelievable, just simply outrageous, simply disgusting, simply not right, simply unfair. I gulped down a huge amount of fresh air and eased my racing heart.

_'Well onl__y one good thing came out__ of it,'_I thought to myself as I straightened up myself and looked at the **'fire' **sign on the tower.

_'I need to watch my step in the compound from now on and do things that does not include what I did in the morning,'_

I started running.

Whatever it was that the Yesha Clan was planning for me; I needed to be extra _extra _**extra **_**careful.**_

* * *

I was sitting in the corner of the same now empty classroom, beside the window where the clouds blocked the beautiful hot sunshine again and again; making me feel even more miserable than I was before. I felt so miserable that I just wanted to go home and sleep the rest of the day, if I was eighteen, I would probably go drinking in a pub and then die in my own agony.

But I couldn't do either because I was just sitting and waiting for my sensei to come in and take me and the rest of the team to someplace and do something there and whatever.

The most shocking thing was when I discovered who my team members were, I mean I always believed in luck but this was extra freaky. My team members was a boy who thought about stupid pranks and did some weird dirty jutsu, a girl who thought that she was the greatest in the whole world and loved to call me names and a boy who was giving me suspicious looks for sometime because he had seen me laughing and now looking worse than a corpse.

Or in other words, Uzumaki Naruto, Sakura and Uchiha; I had no idea what Uchiha's first name was and Sakura's surname but I didn't really care because I was just feeling dead and Sakura and Naruto just kept giving me weird looks because we were the only one who were left in the class and I didn't have the courage or mental capacity to tell them that I, too, were on their team as an extra loser that they probably didn't want and they can ignore me because I don't know how to work as a team because I am an emo.

I stared harder at the wooden desk.

I hate my self.

I hate my self.

I hate my self.

Wow, that is a good exercise. All I need to do is keep repeating this sentence until something happens.

**"Kimiko!" **My phoenix yelled and I flinched as my side burned a little. He had probably used a minute part of his humungous chakra to punish me. **"Get a grip!"**

Naruto picked up a duster and said something that I probably didn't want to hear. Sure he was once alone like me but he was so cheerful, open minded and full of energy that I feel like that he isn't like me at all. He was too bright and cheery… and very annoying.

I actually found everything very annoying around me because I was not in a good mood.

Naruto put the duster on top of the door and Sakura yelled in such a high shrill voice that I flinched irritably.

"That is not going to work dobe; our sensei is probably a Jounin, an elite ninja," Uchiha said from his spot.

He looked cool sitting there like a businessman that it made me look away from the wooden desk and look at him. He didn't look anything special then so I looked back at the desk and decided to do something, I normally won't do.

I quietly clicked my fingers and a flame shot from my index finger. Not even caring to see that my team mates might be staring at me, I started to burn the desk and write something on it.

And obviously, there was this weird quiet silence in the room and everyone was looking at me like I was insane. And I will even admit it if they ask, that I am insane. It isn't anything to be proud of but not many people are there who are insane so it kind of makes me unique.

So that's what I wrote with a number of depressing blood crusting words, actually a whole poem.

**For the love of Man Kind.  
****For the love of Lost Sight.  
****Destroy the evil  
****Destroy the world.**

I know it didn't make any sense, nor did I care if it did but I just wrote it because I was bored. Though there was a huge point in the poem, not that I am blind or something, but that in order to destroy evil, the world should be destroyed so people should begin living again, this time with new and better intentions.

So whatever I decided, the world will be a better place someday eventually.

And I got another pinch from my phoenix and a huge amount of flames came through my finger and the desk was on fire.

Ooh… I wish I could do that everyday. It was so beautiful and amazing, the flames were dancing and the colors were reflecting on everyone's astonished eyes.

**"Kimiko, don't let me torture you!" **

_"Ok ok, fine, geez," _

I moved my hand slightly and the fire was gone like a puff and the classroom was filled with black smoke. I opened the window so there won't be any _kind _requests for me later.

"What the hell were you doing!?" Naruto shouted so loudly that I felt like jumping out of the window and running far far away from them.

I looked down at the desk. It was not entirely burned or had fallen; it just had a huge junk of wood gone at a side. So I innocently (yeah right) looked at him and spoke to the first student in my life.

"What?" I muttered.

My phoenix shifted warningly inside me.

The rest were surprised to see me talking. They probably thought that apart from being an ugly monster, I was also deaf, blind and mute. And the topic hand was at once forgotten.

"Hey," Naruto yelped "You can talk,"

It was like saying that to some kind of supernatural thing like it happened in books and movies. But my reply was totally different.

"I can kick too, you know… want me to do it?" I said so coldly and scarily that it even frightened me.

**"You do know that is why you don't have any friends. Try to get along," **

_"I feel sick, tired, hungry, numb, cold, and insane and you are now telling me to get along? What is with people these days?!" _

But before Naruto or even the Phoenix could reply me, the door suddenly opened and Kakashi walked in and as soon as he did, the duster fell on his head.

He was about to say something when he glanced at my burned down desk and sighed.

"My first expressions on you guys are that you all are complete idiots," he said like it was the nicest thing to say.

Everybody flinched except me. I didn't really feel anything because somebody calling me an idiot **was** the nicest thing anybody ever said to me.

He said something else and everybody got up to follow him. I got up too and the other three members stopped and stare at me.

Kakashi looked at me for a second and I expected him to go on and say _"What are you doing following us when you are not on the team? You are just an extra and I will only be your sensei when I have some extra time," _

But all he went was.

"Don't worry, that sweet kid is on our team too. I am honored to have a fourth student. With us all, we are going to be a great team,"

And I couldn't help but grimace when Kakashi turned his back on us and started to walk away. The others looked at me in hatred and started to walk again.

I blinked a couple of times. I was about to turn around and run away towards the compound when my Phoenix, who was chuckling since he heard the word s_weet, _poked me again and I had to move unwillingly towards wherever the hell we were going.

* * *

We were sitting on the roof. I was sitting next to Sakura who strongly smelled of some perfume that made me even more airheaded. Kakashi-sensei was leaning against the railing and looking at us.

"Now we are going to introduce ourselves," he said.

Everyone stayed silent.

"How are we going to do that?" Naruto asked.

More silence.

"Why don't you give us an example by doing it yourself," Naruto said again.

Kakashi lazily rubbed the back of his head.

"Ok. Uh, let's see," Kakashi muttered and then still smiling, he began, "My name is Hatake Kakashi, my likes and dislikes are nothing of your concern and neither are my hobbies. My dream… umm… I don't really have one,"

He looked at us with a wink in his one visible eye.

I wanted to bang my head onto the cement floor again and again until I bled to death. I mean, come-on! What did he say except his name? Nothing! I twitched as Naruto started to introduce himself. It looked like he was advertising the Ramen Shop down the street rather introducing himself. It was so annoying.

Then it was Sakura's turn and she started to yelp and blush and look at Uchiha shyly. I rubbed my temples. But I did find out that her full name was Haruno Sakura. This wasn't anything useful really.

Then it was Uchiha's turn and everyone turned their attention to him, well obviously except me because I was looking at the sun which wasn't really hurting my eyes.

"…I don't have a dream but I have an aim. Something that _will _come true, I will revive my Clan and kill a certain someone,"

I turned my head lazily at him. Wow and I thought I was the only one insane here.

Now it was my turn but I turned my attention towards the sun and just did not care about introducing myself.

Minutes passed and Kakashi cleared his throat. Then something so horrible happened that I felt I wanted to transform into my fire state at once and kill that certain person too.

"I will do it for her," Sakura _generously _offered. She cleared her throat, "Her name is Ugly Red. She loves to make other people miserable because she is a monster. She dislikes beauty products. Her hobby is to sit in the corner and do nothing and her dream is to open up a haunted house,"

I felt heat rush up to my face but I quickly controlled it. I was still staring at the sun in a daze, thinking of what to do next as everyone was looking at me. Naruto was trying not to laugh. So I did what I never thought I would do. I turned my head towards them lazily.

"Did you say something **Suck-ura**?" I asked slowly so nobody missed the seriousness in my voice.

Sakura flinched and clenched her hand into a fist.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?" She shouted.

I looked at her innocently.

"Oh? You want me to repeat it?" I asked.

"Now now now, girls… don't start a fight. We are after all a team," Kakashi spoke up.

Sakura huffed and turned her head away from me with a pout.

"I will spare you this time," she said like she was doing me a favor.

"Spare me what?"

Sakura flinched again and Naruto started babbling something comforting which made Sakura punch him on the head.

"Now, Kimiko, please do introduce yourself," Kakashi said as everyone settled down.

I clicked my tongue irritatingly.

"My name is Yesha Kimiko. I dislike everything and everyone in the world and I wish I could kill them all because I loathe them so much that I want to set all of them on fire,"

There was small pause.

"I like nothing. Absolutely nothing. Well except myself of course but sometimes I feel like killing myself too so nobody and nothing on this planet should exist in the future and God should make a new kind of humans that are possibly better than us,"

More weird silence. My Phoenix was shaking with laughter.

"My hobbies includes making plans how to destroy the world and kill all the people in it because I detest them so very much,"

Sakura and Naruto shivered slightly.

"And I don't have a dream because as Suck-ura happily pointed out for me, I am a monster. Monsters don't suppose to have dreams. They just have to do something that they are supposed to do ever since they are born. So as I am a monster, I need to fulfill the prophecy and destroy the whole world and kill everyone and everything in it,"

Though at this last speech, my Phoenix stopped chuckling and I felt him softly feeling me from the inside, trying to comfort me. Naruto had this weird expression that looked between astonishment and sadness. Sasuke had his eyebrows raised. Kakashi looked _extremely _uncomfortable. And Sakura…

She was looking at the new polished nails and muttering something like _"God, people like her… urgh…"_

I grunted.

"Now what?" I demanded, breaking their expressions.

Kakashi cleared his throat.

"There would be a test tomorrow. Come to the Third training ground early in the morning. Be prepared and **don't eat breakfast**," Kakashi said, empathizing hard on the last few words.

There was a minute silence.

"You can go now," he said.

I got from the floor and dusted myself.

"Thank god, I thought this torture would never end. Forcing people to say something that aren't suppose to be said. How pathetic," I said and stretching my muscles, walked away from the still seated team members and went through the door.

* * *

As soon as she was gone, I tried not to shiver in fright. I mean what was she? Was it just too late?

I was about to jump when somebody grabbed my legs. Surprisingly it was Naruto **and **Sakura.

"Please Kakashi-sensei, we don't want to her on our team!" they both wailed, their faces desperate. I looked at them, confused.

"She is insane," Sakura yelped.

"Please, we three are ok! Why her? Why not anybody else?" Naruto yelped.

"Please… have mercy on us!"

"I can't stand her if she bad mouthed anyone again!"

I sighed.

"Now guys, she is our team member. I believe she just acted like that because she was in a bad mood. And you shouldn't entirely blame her," I said, clearly and gently.

At this, they both silenced down and looked at me in a confused expression.

They both got up from the ground and looked at me demandingly.

"What do you mean, Kakashi-sensei!?" Naruto wailed.

I smiled and rubbed the back of my neck, tiredly.

"You guys need to figure that out by yourself," I said and before anyone could say anything else, I saw a hint of red by the door way and a quick blur as it disappeared. I sighed again and did a hand seal before transporting towards the Hokage's office.

"What is that you need Kakashi?" he asked without even looking from his paperwork.

"It's about Kimiko,"

The Hokage at once stopped working and looked at me seriously.

"I think she had made up her mind,"

The Hokage's eyes widened.

"She says that she wants to destroy the world and kill everyone… even herself," I continued.

The Hokage turned his chair to look out of his window.

"That's not good, that's just horrible," he muttered underneath his breathe.

There was a small silence.

"I think you and your team might make a difference," he said.

I flinched when I remembered her words, Sakura's taunts and her overhearing everything the others said.

"The others hate her already," I desperately said.

The Hokage turned towards me and smiled.

"Don't worry; everyone hates everyone at the start. Everyone will get used to her. I believe in you," he said.

I felt pride swirl up in my chest. I nodded determinedly and started to tell him the rest of what she had said and what had happened.

* * *

**Wow. another chapter from me! hooray! lol  
i think my writing style in the previous chapters and in this chapter is different. is that true? do tell me if it is.  
and a critique told me that this story would be perfect if i used some humour in it. so i added a few stuff. Now Kimiko never acts like that but she only did because she was sleepy.  
because i do strange things when I am sleepy too. Totally.  
Please review or i will kill myself!**


	4. Fate

**The Phoenix Child**

**Chapter Four  
Fate**

The sun shone through my window and hit my face. I groaned loudly before pulling the blanket over my face and tried to continue my slumber but I couldn't do so. Even though my blanket was over my face, the sun rays were still able to escape through the tiny holes in the blanket and disturb me from my sleep.

I knew I won't be able to sleep anymore, maybe for the fact I slept too long. I moaned before pushing the blanket off me and slipping out of my bed. I rubbed my eyes awake and then looked around my room, stifling a yawn. I hadn't eaten anything except for the breakfast last morning. I didn't bother lunch neither dinner because I knew that if I didn't sleep, I would have done something absurd so I came to the conclusion to rest my head before I embarrassed myself... more. So when I came home, I hurried to my room, jumped onto the bed without even bothering to change myself and at once fell into a dreamless slumber.

I had a jetlag. I had never slept this long and strangely I liked it. But I knew that it was once in a decade that I had this kind of dreamless sleep.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair was fluffy and was sticking around in different directions and I felt slightly glad that my dark circles had slightly lightened and my face had regained some color. I looked more like a _lively _corpse now then a dead one. Wait… aren't corpses suppose to be dead?

Shaking my head at my own thinking, I stretched and went lazily to the bathroom. I opened the brown door and stepped onto the white tiles, barefooted. I slightly winced at how cold they felt under my feet but I quickly turned on the tap and steaming hot water started to flow from the shower. I took off my clothes which were crumbled because of the long sleep and threw them in the laundry box. I sighed loudly before entering the hot water.

As the hot water fell on me, relaxing my nerves, I allowed myself to think what had happened yesterday.

It took me a total of five minutes to realize that whatever happened seemed like a blur to me and I, surprisingly, couldn't really remember what had happened except for a confusing dozen scenes that probably looked like a dream; an illusion.

But the problem now was that I couldn't remember _what _exactly the dream was and _what _exactly the reality was. And I, innocently, pondered on the question, as I dried myself with a nearby towel, at what I had to do and what had happened.



As I changed into another identical pair of clothes, I suddenly remembered a few embarrassing things that had happened. I blushed a deep red color, as I combed my damp hair in front of the mirror and gave myself a final look over (in case I hadn't dressed wrongly), and I told myself countless times that everything would be alright.

Like my life, for example. It was **far **from being **alright**. But that's what an unlucky, broken, embarrassed and ugly girl is supposed to do; give herself false encouragement.

I stretched and looked at the plain gray colored clock sitting at my bedside table and suddenly froze. I let out a defeated sigh.

_8.00 am._

"_Damn it," _

Wasn't I supposed to go to the Third Training Ground at the crack of dawn? I seethed at how pathetic I was before jumping out of the window and falling, firmly, on the ground below.

Wasn't giving a first good impression important? I thought miserably as I made my way through the Yesha Compound, ignoring the hushed whispers, the warnings of mothers giving to their children and the hatred filled stares. Really, when I was eight, I had gotten used to all of them and now, even though I wanted love and kindness, I didn't really mind their stares. Sure it hurt and all, but it also meant that I was only a person that was different. Pathetic maybe?

I started to run as soon as I was out of the compound. I finally remembered a few blurred things including the moments I saw Uchiha and Naruto kissing, and me laughing and Uchiha looking at my suspiciously. Then I had burned the desk and spoke rather arrogantly. I felt ashamed of myself because I only proved that I am a pathetic, miserable and stupid person in front of the people who are suppose to be my team for a couple of months starting today. If I ever reached the training ground that is. I wasn't really a bad person neither was I a mass murderer, a blood thirsty demon etc like the villagers had been gossiping about. I felt ashamed the way I had acted and it only proved that I was the horrible illusion that everybody had created.

My first impression was not really anything to be proud of. It was something I would regret all my life. And the only thing I learned from all the experience was that a person should not stay awake more than forty-eight hours, like I did.

I panted as I stopped in front of the barred Iron Gate which opened to the huge training ground in front of me and tried to think of a solution that would save the rest of my dignity. Well… whatever is left of it that is.



I was already late so I wasn't really worried if I was a few more minutes. I gulped down a huge amount of air and tried to think.

After a five minutes of time wastage and throwing random answers around in my head; from the truth (which was too embarrassing to tell) and from the lies (which I am not in a habit to do so), I only came to one conclusion and believe me, it would have not taken so much of mental effort that I put it, I decided to apologize.

How?

Well… as I didn't want to waste another five minutes of my life pondering aimlessly on this question, I ignored the nervousness that had started to stir in my stomach as I started to walk through the gate and towards the training poles. I fumbled with my kunai pouch, checking if I had a right amount of kunais and other weapons just in case I have to defend myself if Kakashi-sensei thought of killing me.

"**Just be yourself,"**

Sometimes I get confused at what my Phoenix suggests me to do; sometimes I get confused if his suggestions are a sarcastic remark or a serious advice. Because everybody knows that if I be myself, I would get into trouble for sure.

I halted my thoughts and skipped behind a couple of trees as I stared at the three figures a few meters away from me. Two of them were sitting and another was standing, with his hands on his hips. I bit my bottom lip quietly as I stared at them. They were waiting for someone.

I suddenly realized that Kakashi-sensei wasn't there. I felt a pang of relief in my stomach as I leaned against the tree trunk, my back against them. If Kakashi-sensei wasn't there, it meant that I would not get into much trouble. I straightened myself and turned to walk towards the group when I bumped into a warm body.

First I did not know how to react. I just froze, thousands of possibilities coming into my mind. Were they playing a joke on me? So if I came late, they will act as nothing is wrong and then when I relax, they will pounce on me like a predator on a prey?

Or maybe the tall person in whom I had just bumped into was really an assassin set by the Yesha Clan to kill me.

Maybe that's the reason I didn't feel any chakra presence.

Why me?



So, gulping loudly, I slowly craned my neck upwards and stared with my scared terrified eyes at the smiling figure of Kakashi. I blinked my crimson eyes for a second before stepping back a little, surprised.

"So here you are. And I thought only three of my students arrived for the test. Kimiko, you shouldn't be hiding," Kakashi said in a soft gay voice.

I lowered my head, embarrassed. Was I mentally abnormal that people acted like that? Or I was ignored by everyone? Was I mentally retarded that I always hid from everyone?

"So-sorry," I stuttered in a quiet voice. This was what I was good at… apologizing, even for those mistakes that I did not commit. When I was young, I used to stay quiet in front of my father when he insulted me and tortured me but once I went for a walk and I saw my fellow classmate, Hinata Hyuuga, stuttering in front of an old man. All she said was _sorry _and had gotten away with nothing more than a glare.

But obviously, _sorry _did not really work for me. But even then, I tried.

Kakashi looked at me with a raised eyebrow and motioned me to follow him. I followed obediently, my head low, my crimson hair hiding half of my face. Why am I always so afraid?

We reached the three-ninja group and were greeted by angry shouts coming from Naruto and Sakura. I was surprised at first at what I had done but I soon realized that shouts were not, surprisingly, addressed to me but to Kakashi. I inwardly smiled; I wasn't the only one who was late then.

Kakashi waved his hands in front of him in a defeated manner.

"Well, a black cat crossed my path and as you know, black cats are bad luck so I had to take a longer route in order to reach here," he said.

I blinked at him and quickly memorized the excuse.

"**What a pathetic excuse,"**

"_It's good,"_

"**Sheesh…"**

After a long awkward silence, Kakashi stepped aside and I was revealed from his shadow. I, nervously, looked up at my staring comrades before focusing my gaze at something else on the ground… like a rock.



Kakashi ignored the awkward silence and the stares and took something out of his pockets which made a jingling sound. I looked back at what Kakashi was holding and was surprised to see that he was holding three small silver bells.

"As everyone is here now, let's start the test. What you have to do is to take one of these bells from me and you pass,"

"_That seems easy enough," _I thought inwardly as I looked at the three jingling bells dangling from their strings in Kakashi's hands. My eyes widened. Wait… he is only holding…

I felt a dry knot quickly form in my throat as I stared at the amount of bells. Three. Not four. So it was true that I was an extra? A useless idiot? That Kakashi didn't even bother to get another bell for me. I felt a sharp pain in my heart and I tried my best not to gasp out in pain. I bit my bottom lip and controlled everything with an emotionless expression.

"But there are only three bells, we are four in number here," Naruto said, loudly, pointing his index finger at the jounin.

I looked at him. Well, looks like today _was _a good day. Somebody noticed that I was here and I can be counted as a fourth person. I was relieved.

"Well, that was the test is all about. One will fail eventually and-" he pointed his finger at something behind them. I turned and say three wooden training polls in the middle of the ground "- will be tied on the training post,"

"_What kind of punishment is that?" _I thought to myself as I remembered my torture times with my father. I could hardly move in the end. But, of course, **that **was torture and **this** was just a mere **punishment.** There has to be a difference between the two and now I knew.

"After the test, you will all be given lunch boxes to eat and the person tied on the post won't get anything,"

I heard a very loud gulp from Naruto and at that time I suddenly remembered that I hadn't eaten anything except for the two bowls of rice at yesterday's breakfast. But surprisingly I didn't feel hungry at all. I first thought having a Phoenix inside me, allows me to eat more than a normal person. But suddenly I realized that I wasn't a normal person so I didn't eat like a normal person. My appetite was less than a bird's. So I act like an **ab**normal person and ate less. I could go without food for weeks. Sometimes I was grateful for my phoenix's chakra.

So the whole punishment wasn't really anything special for me. I had it much worst but I didn't really want to look like a dork, getting tied against a training pole and getting failed 

whereas others would be holding onto their bells like prized possessions and having triumph smirks on their faces. Then would be the stares. Those horrible **horrible **stares. I felt a shudder go down my spine.

"Hide at the count of three,"

I jerked my head, putting aside my thoughts and looked at the elite ninja in front of me who was pointing three fingers in front of us.

"Three,"

I felt everyone around me stiffen. I felt a pang of nervousness and confusion in my stomach as I tired to think what to do. Why wasn't my brain working right now?

"Two,"

I tried to tell myself to relax. I was naturally good at hiding wasn't I? So why wasn't my body working?

"One,"

I felt two of my comrades, by the help of their chakras; disappear into the nearby mass of trees.

"_Damn it,"_

I pushed my chakra into my feet and, doing a quick cartwheel, jumped towards one of the trees. I landed onto one of the branches and hid my petite figure behind the tree trunk. I put my hand on my heaving chest and tried to control my beating heart. It wasn't that I was _already _out of breath; it was just the nervousness of the whole thing.

I had a bad feeling.

I hugged my knees tightly before turning my head a little and peeking at the side of the huge trunk. I narrowed my crimson eyes when I spotted two figures fighting at the ground.

I spotted the blond mass of hair and quickly recognized him as Naruto. I was impressed at how quickly he had hid himself, analyzed Kakashi's weak points and then quickly attacked. It was, to me, amazing. No wonder he was the Kyuubi's vessel. I had gained new respect for the blond boy for sure.

I felt my Phoenix stir inside, telling me to go and fight too. I shook my head at once. No way was I going in there that soon! I needed to make a plan before I go. I bit my bottom lip as I rested my head against the tree trunk and watched as Kakashi dodged and attacked Naruto's clones.



Should I use nin-jutsu or tai-jutsu? Both of course but my first priority would certainly be tai-jutsu. It would be using my skills then, by the help of the Phoenix, I would attack with a fire attack. Till now, I only knew two fire attacks and, that too, were hell simple. I had watched other ninjas doing it and had taught myself.

I must have daydreamed a lot or something because when I again concentrated on the battle in front of me, I saw Naruto hanging upside down, screaming, from the tree, a rope tied on his ankle. Kakashi was nowhere to be found.

"_Maybe I should help him," _I thought to myself. Would I make a fool of myself if I did? But… wasn't helping people a good thing?

I was about to jump from the tree branch when I saw Naruto cut the rope himself and fell on the ground. I looked at him, feeling suddenly stupid. Of course, we are ninjas now. It's an obvious thing that we, except for me I think, can easily escape from traps like those.

There was a loud yelp from Naruto and I watched him as he fell into another trap set by Kakashi. He was dangling from the tree again. I sighed loudly as I took out a shuriken from my pouch and jumped down from the tree branch and stretched.

I looked around to see Kakashi but couldn't find him anywhere but just to be careful, I made a shadow clone. I nodded to it and I watched it run quickly towards the hanging boy, who was pouting like a kid with his arms crossed over his chest. My shadow clone ran and quickly hid behind the tree.

I, mentally, ordered it cut the rope and it did. Naruto, surprised at what happened, fell face first into the mud. He groaned loudly, rubbed his head and sat up, looking around frantically, a kunai coming from nowhere into his hand.

I made the shadow clone come in front of him. Naruto looked at my identical body in shock and slowly backed away.

"Are you alright, Naruto-sama?"

Even though I wasn't standing and experiencing the scene a few meters away from me, I could still feel the strange silence that had engulfed the two. The strangeness of it all, the shocked and bewildered expression that Naruto was giving my shadow clone, and my clone, looking down at him, _trying _to care.

But me and care… it wouldn't do as there was an unwritten rule somewhere in this universe that hating me was a must. I sighed loudly before disabling the technique altogether, not caring about Naruto's answer. I watched as my clone burst into a flying shadow and was carried away by the wind. I rotated my shoulders a little before stuffing 

my hands into my pockets before walking through the mass of the trees, trying to find Kakashi so I could get over with everything.

I suddenly heard a loud scream. I stopped in my tracks, my hands making towards my kunai pouch and retrieving a sharp kunai. I gulped and was about to follow towards where the scream came from when I suddenly felt the brewing presence of flames.

It can only be two things. A fire attack or an intense fight. Both consumed energy.

I, still holding the kunai, ran towards where I had sensed the flame and I erupted from the mass of trees after a few minutes of running. I gasped suddenly before, quickly, hiding behind another tree.

Uchiha and Kakashi were fighting. And it wasn't like the fight with Naruto and Kakashi but it was something more. I blinked my eyes, continuously in amazement, as Uchiha planted a kick on the jounin's face and he was hardly able to block but Uchiha again, quite expertly, planted another kick and almost grabbed the bells, which were tied on Kakashi's belt, but he was thrown away a few feet. Uchiha didn't even stumbled, something I would have done in the similar situation, but skidded effortlessly onto the ground.

He clapped his hands together and quickly started to make hand seals of a jutsu. My lips went dry and my eyes widened much more from before.

"Katon: Gaton no Jutsu!"

He blew a string of fire from his mouth towards Kakashi, whose eyes were widened at what was happening, and in a matter of seconds the elite ninja was engulfed into flames so high that I couldn't see him at all.

"_Chakra usage: fifty percent in the fire. Chakra left: forty percent. That fire is strong. Almost my equal,"_

I suddenly felt a sudden movement disturb the flow of fire and I frowned deeply, staring at the brewing fire.

I gasped in shock.

"_H-he escaped?!" _

I clinched my hands into fists as I stared at the now dying fire. The flames disappeared and the Uchiha looked at the results.

He wasn't there.

"_Where is he?"_



I gritted my teeth in sudden anger. What had happened? Where was he?

Uchiha looked around frantically and suddenly he was pulled under the earth. My eyes widened.

"_What!?" _

In a matter of seconds, Kakashi appeared from the earth and was standing in front of the almost buried Uchiha who looked pissed at the situation. With much difficulty, he raised his head towards the smiling face of Kakashi.

I felt a pang of vengeance in my stomach as I clinched my hands even tighter, my nails digging into my flesh, bruising my skin slightly. How dare he… how dare he escape such a powerful fire? It was like insulting her ability, her power… her Phoenix!

"_He is open; I am going in," _

"**Remember; don't be too reckless," **

I nodded to myself, determined and pushed a good amount of chakra under my feet. I wanted to be as fast as I can.

I ran, my hair flying in the quickness… I felt I almost disappeared into the air. I quickly appeared behind Kakashi and stopped. Kakashi, surprised, turned his head slowly from the Uchiha but I didn't let him do anything else. I had to be fast.

I raised my leg and aimed to kick his chest, but as expected, he blocked. According to my mental plan, I knew he was distracted at me for appearing out of nowhere and I, taking my advantage, raised my hand and touched the forgotten bells on his waist. Kakashi's eyes widened and Uchiha gasped as my fingers tightened and I tugged at it, freeing it.

I was surprised myself. I had expected Kakashi to do something but he hadn't and I had easily taken the bell.

I stumbled backwards, holding the cold bell in my warm hands and blinked at what had happened. The vengeance I had felt earlier had disappeared. Wasn't I supposed to show how powerful fire was than to take the bell?

I noticed the orange book in Kakashi's hand. Maybe that was distracting him?

Uchiha seethed and struggled, trying to get out of the earth. I looked at him, distracted. And then that's when I felt a powerful punch in my stomach, I stumbled backwards as the air was knocked out of me. The bell from my hand slipped and landed with a thump on the ground.



I looked up in a daze and saw a rather blurred Kakashi standing a few feet away from me, his fist raised.

"_Why… why did he hit me? Didn't I take the bell? Haven't I passed?" _I shook my head, trying to clear my vision. I looked at the bell on the ground and was about to reach for it when Kakashi stepped over it. I looked at him, surprised. He was reading the book again.

"You made a wrong move that leads to the position you are now in. You are now at the beginning, you are now supposed to fight me again,"

"_Wrong move? What did I do?" _I thought to myself in confusion.

"**Whatever it was, you have to fight again," **

I clenched my hands into fists and bent down, narrowing my eyes, trying to find the perfect spot to attack. I could sense Uchiha getting up from the ground a few feet away from us. I breathed out and launched myself on him, without a second thought.

This time, I felt like an idiot, whatever I did, wherever I punched or kicked, he dodged easily, his attention not in the fight but in his book.

I bent down and kicked at ankles, trying to knock him down, but he simply jumped. I gritted my teeth as I planted my hands behind me on the ground and lifted my both feet, trying to kick him at his chin but he simply did a flip and landed a few feet away from me.

My feet still up, froze, at what he had done and quickly did the cartwheel in order to stand up safely on my feet again.

I slapped together my arms.

"_Why isn't anything working?!" _

I started to make a complicated hand seal. I noticed Kakashi looking at my hands in interest. I stopped and stretched out both of my arms.

My first fire technique.

"Fire Element: Supernova neglect,"

A huge amount of fire erupted from my hands, eating away my chakra. The fire that came from my hands took shape of a small phoenix and Kakashi was engulfed into it. After a minute or two, when I was completely out of my chakra, I stopped and panting looked at the huge wall of fire in front of me.



It was obvious that this technique was more powerful that the Uchiha's. It would have been impossible for anyone to escape.

My eyes widened when I felt a sharp object at the back of my neck. I gulped and turned my head back.

I saw Uchiha fighting with Kakashi a few feet away from me and the person who had his kunai against the back of my neck was no other than Kakashi.

Shadow clones.

I turned sharply, not caring as the kunai cut a long deep cut at the side of my neck and kicked the surprised jounin in the chest. He exploded into smoke.

I panted, a sharp pain stirring up in my stomach where Kakashi had earlier punched me. I put my hand at the side of my neck to stop the bleeding as I looked back at the fire wall that had, now, disappeared.

I turned and watched Uchiha and Kakashi fighting. Uchiha was sending thousands of invisible kicks towards the elite ninja but unfortunately, none of them made it.

The blood was flowing to fast around my neck but it wasn't really affecting me. I was so used to pain that mere cuts like these didn't hurt at all. I shifted my hand from my neck to my stomach. I suddenly coughed. My hand, automatically, reached my mouth and I touched a warm liquid on my lips.

My eyes widened when I saw blood on my hands.

"_The punch wasn't that hard! Why am I coughing blood?!" _

"**Isn't it obvious?" **

I froze suddenly, staring at nothing particular.

"**Your body is still injured from the last time your father tortured you. The electric shocks doesn't only harms the special organs but the healing also takes time,"**

I blinked my eyes and rubbed the blood coming from my mouth. I took a deep breath.

"_I see,"_

I slapped my hands together and started to make a few hand seals.

"**What are you doing!?" **My phoenix exclaimed.



I took a deep breath and blew a fire ball straight at the pair fighting. Uchiha's eyes widened as he jumped backwards. But he wasn't the only one, Kakashi, expertly, dodged too.

"_This pain…"_

I stretched my trembling, blood soaked hands, and clutched them tightly again. The fire ball, which was about to hit the trees, halted in its movements and stopped. I opened my hands again.

"_This pain…"_

I moved my hands at the right and the fire ball aimed towards the jounin.

"…_It's nothing compared to…"_

The fire ball made contact with the elite ninja's body but he quickly jumped away so the fire only caught his sleeves. I was about to control the fire again but a sharp pain erupted into my stomach and I coughed. My hands retrieved, breaking the technique, towards my mouth, trying to maintain the coughing and the flow of blood.

"… _Compared to the after results," _

I felt Kakashi suddenly running towards me.

"_The taunts..."_

I looked up, rubbing the blood from my mouth. I had eased my coughing but I had made a mess. Blood was everywhere on my clothes and my skin.

"_The hatred…"_

Kakashi laid a hand on my shoulder and I looked at him.

"_The stares…" _

I straightened up and looked up to see the Uchiha panting but staring at me.

"_The pain? The blood? It's nothing compared to those things…" _

I pushed the last of my chakra into the tips of my fingers and reached quickly for another bell around his waist. I plucked another one and put it in my pocket.

"…_Compared to FAILURE!" _

And Kakashi hadn't even noticed that the bell was gone. Nobody did.

"_It's finally over, Phoenix," _

"**I told you not to be reckless,"**

"_Sorry, I kind of got carried away,"_

"Are you alright Kimiko?" Kakashi's voice rang into my ears.

I straightened up and nodded.

"Never been better," I said monotonously.

Kakashi raised his eyebrows at me.

"_Can you heal me Phoenix?" _

"**Don't I always?"**

I wiped the blood from my mouth again as I felt a nice sensation in my stomach. Like water running smoothly on tiles, with no rock or debris to stop its flow. Like the sun which burned forever without stopping. A wonderful sensation. My Phoenix was already healing me.

"_Thank you,"_

I looked up at Kakashi who was still looking down at me.

"Please don't stop because of me. I can still fight,"

"**WHAT!?" **

Kakashi shook his head and straightened up.

"No. Time's already over. It's time for lunch anyway. Let's go,"

I nodded obediently, slightly relieved. I looked up at the Uchiha who was muttering something under his breath and seemed to be in a bad mood. Kakashi walked towards the main ground and I and Uchiha followed him, quietly.

Soon the bleeding in my neck had also stopped but I didn't wipe off the blood just in case anybody noticed my quick healing abilities. I looked sideways at the quiet yet irritated boy walking beside me but quickly regretted it because my neck gave a sudden pang of pain. I straightened my neck again and fixed my eyes on the dirt.

Soon we were all sitting against the training poles, quietly. Well three of us were except for Naruto who was tied against the middle of the training pole and was groaning about something. Sakura looked shaken up and I felt her suddenly sigh in relief when she saw 

Uchiha walking beside me. Naruto and Sakura were both horrified and shocked to see my blood stained exposure. It was strange for them to notice because my clothing and my features were both red in color and I always thought that more red would stay insignificant and unnoticed in me. But I guess I was wrong.

"_Phoenix?" _

There was no answer. It didn't always mean that the Phoenix would talk to me. It was rare when I was little, a word or two every week but during my growth, he became more talkative. But sometimes he ignored me too. I didn't really mind.

As I sat down on the ground and looked earnestly at Kakashi, whose eyes were hard and he was staring at all of us, I felt a sudden urge of ridiculousness come over me. Here I was, covered in blood and maybe the only one who had gotten the bell but nobody knew that I did. And neither had I had any courage to stand up and say _"HEY! I PASSED! I AM THE ONLY ONE! HOORAY!" _Why not? The reason was VERY simple.

**One**, I wasn't brave enough to do that. I didn't want to be in the middle of attention. Maybe because I never got it and suddenly getting it just seemed awkward to me.

**Two**, what would the others feel? I mean, they didn't get a bell so they all failed right? They would feel bad as though their hard work was useless because they didn't get a bell at all.

**Three**, if any of the word reached my father's ears, I would be skinned alive and would barbecued on a camp fire then my meat would be thrown to the dogs for their dinner.

**Four**, I didn't take the bell with a proper fight. I just sneaked it in my hands and that too, after when the time was over.

So, hugging my knees cowardly and as though my bravery was just an illusion to myself and everyone else before, I sat there, looking up at Kakashi with my crimson eyes. And then, at once, feeling my loss of blood, I jerked my head a little and my ruby colored bangs came in front of me.

My shield was always there to protect me.

There was a minute silence. Naruto finally shut up.

"Looks like you all worked hard… I have similar news for you all," Kakashi said with a light smile on his face and with a very satisfied expression.

My heart leapt and I stared up at Kakashi in an unbelievable expression. I passed? I couldn't believe it.

"_I passed! Isn't that great!?" _

There was no answer from my Phoenix and I didn't mind at all; I was relieved and happy and I didn't want anyone to tell me otherwise.

I noticed Sakura get up and started yelling happily of getting passed and Naruto was swinging his leg aggressively, shouting "NOWAY!" I smiled a little and the only person who was acting somber and suspicious was Uchiha sitting a few feet next to me. My smile flattered as I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes.

Kakashi suddenly spoke.

"The news is that you **all **fail,"

My heart stopped beating and all the previous celebration from Sakura and Naruto stopped in a sudden halt, making the atmosphere dead quiet. I jerked my head in shame as my bangs covered my eyes. Of course, it was obvious. Nothing could go right in my life. I was ashamed that I even thought of getting passed by shedding so much blood and even though I had taken the bell, it was when the time was over and it wasn't like I did with a cool jutsu or something but I took it in a pathetic sneaky way.

Like a thief.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE FAIL!?" Naruto yelled on top his lungs and I flinched at the loud noise. A sudden headache pondered in the back of my head.

"Not only fail, but you all were so pathetic that I will not allow you to go back to the academy… which means that you all are not good enough to be ninjas,"

I ducked my head in my knees. I, not being a ninja, fitted so rightfully in my fate that I didn't doubt Kakashi's decisions for a second. If I wasn't a ninja, then I was nobody and that wasn't surprising for me to handle at all… though if I went back to the academy, I would be disgraced even more in my Clan and I wouldn't want my brother's comments and my father's harsh looks.

But not being a ninja for me was nothing at all but only confusion. If I was a ninja, I wouldn't be powerful at all. If I wasn't a ninja… what do I do?

In either way, I was still a roasted idiot that my father wanted to throw to the dogs.

There was a sudden movement from beside me and my hair fluttered at the sudden wisp of wind. Surprised, I looked at my side and saw that the place where Uchiha was sitting was empty. I furrowed my eye brows as I heard gasps from my teammates and there was a loud thud in front of me.



I, lazily, looked straight and saw Uchiha underneath Kakashi, his hands held back and his face, which was grinded into an irritated expression, down on the earth with Kakashi's foot on top of his head.

"_What just happened?"_ I thought to myself.

"How pathetic… there is something wrong with all of you here that prevent you of being a ninja,"

"_I know… I lack everything," _

Kakashi looked sharply at Naruto, who was yelling like an idiot again.

"Naruto," he said in a strict solemn voice "you fell for easy tricks, are reckless and you don't think at all. You just went all high and mighty and start to fight without thinking,"

Naruto frowned, his eyes closed, his lips in an angry position.

"NO I AM NOT!"

Kakashi ignored him as his eyes fell on Sakura who jerked her straight, looking at Kakashi is surprise.

"Sakura, you did not help Naruto when you saw him get stuck in the tree but you were trying to help Sasuke. Naruto is your teammate too… team work is important and in missions you have to make quick decisions. For example…"

Kakashi took out a sharp kunai from his pouch and pointed towards Uchiha's throat that narrowed his eyes sharply.

"Sakura, kill Kimiko or Sasuke dies,"

I felt sweat roll down my cheek as my eyes widened slightly as I looked at Sakura in shock. What is she going to do?

Sakura looked shaken up as she frantically looked from Sasuke to me and from me to Sasuke. Sakura took a deep breath, took out a kunai and then looked at me with an evil smirk on her face.

"No problem!" she said.

I yelped, got up from the ground and hid behind the training pole.

There was a minute silence as Kakashi twitched in irritation and withdrew the kunai back into his pouch before glaring at Sakura who grinned sheepishly and put her kunai back too.



"I hope that doesn't happen in real missions," Kakashi sighed.

"_Wait. That was a joke?" _

I felt relief wash over me as I inwardly sighed. I peaked from behind the training pole at everyone.

"Kimiko,"

I jumped and looked at Kakashi suddenly who was glaring at me.

"I order you to quit being a ninja,"

I, again, felt the thrashing pain in my chest that I often felt when people say too dramatic words against me and they stare me to death. I always took them to consideration and then had a battle with myself that what they said was true or not and always, in the end, those nameless, faceless people won who judged me before even knowing me.

When I was eight, my powers went out of control a lot of times because of those words because I rejected them. When my powers went out of control and suddenly somebody got a wound or two, my father would get furious. He would take me home and torture me until I was bled from every cut on my skin.

From that day, I decided that rejecting things would only cause me trouble and pain and even more hatred from people all around me who were only looking for an excuse to trap me in their hatred filled illusions. From that day, I accepted people's insults without battling with myself that they were true or not. They called me a monster and from that day, I became a monster. They called my ugly, and from that day I was ugly.

Accepting things were much more painless that I could have ever imagined and slowly my powers started to stay in control. Until those days when the phoenix couldn't take it anymore and started to act up against my will. It came out, saying that it will teach them a lesson… all those humans who were blind.

And the torturing from my father did not cease but soon enough, as I started to walk alone in those same streets filled with stares, I realized that even if I object, in the end, I would never win and I have to face the same circumstances that were of before.

So even though my chest pained and I felt my heart squirm around painfully, I ignored that harshness inside and agreed to what they had to say.

And this time, I did the same too. Though my face was hesitant and my voice stammered, I was glad that I did not cry… now.



"O-okay," I stammered, my voice first had a little wobble then it maintained into an emotionless voice and my expression became monotonous.

Kakashi raised his eye brows.

"Tch… that's your problem… you are hesitant and you don't think for yourself. Yes, you did take advantage of Sasuke's fight with me but your moves were hesitant and you lost your concentration in the middle of the fight, allowing me to take you on. And the fact that you foolishly allowed my kunai to stab you on the neck shows that you won't last long in a mission at all. You don't have to get into other people's words,"

It was slightly surprising for me. It was like Kakashi wasn't telling me about the fight but was actually telling me how to deal with problems in my life. Does he mean that if they called my ugly, I wasn't ugly? But wait… then there has to be a reason why they called me that.

But even if I was ugly, was it going to be in the way if I had to fight with a ninja? Not at all… maybe my ugliness would scare them off or prevent them from…

I quickly rejected that thought but taking Kakashi's words into consideration, I thought I was pretty foolish, stopping the fight when I was progressing so nicely and then getting drenched in blood.

I assumed that if an enemy in the mission would say to me that I was too weak to fight him and I should probably quit being a ninja, I would, if I would be alive, do it.

Sasuke suddenly groaned, breaking my chain of thoughts, and tried to shove off Kakashi from top of him. I looked at him in wonder.

"_For how long can he stay in such a position?"_

"And you Sasuke… you regard the other members of your team as useless and think that they are not worth your time. You are arrogant and you think too highly of yourself. You prefer to work alone and don't like teamwork," Kakashi said before releasing him.

Sasuke scrambled gracefully onto his feat before glaring at the elite jounin who didn't even budge at his glare.

"As you can see, your entire problem is teamwork and planning. If you all had worked together, then you would have easily taken the bells away from me and you would have all passed,"

There was a minute silence and then Kakashi turned around to go.



"It's time for lunch. After you have your lunch, you will try to get the bells from me again. If you fail, yet again, then you will all have to quit being ninjas,"

Before he walked away, he looked sharply at us before speaking in a deathly voice.

"And don't give any to Naruto. He cheated,"

Naruto grumbled as Kakashi walked away.

As Sakura handed the lunch boxes, which were only three and were lying a few feet away from them, I noticed that the silence was as awkward as in the classroom but maybe this time it was more. Then, when Kakashi wasn't there, everybody didn't even know that I was a part of the team. But now we did and maybe the silence was because that nobody knew each other.

How were we able to work together?

I sat down with my lunch box and opened it. It was rice, eggs and dumplings. Although it looked delicious, I had no appetite to eat and to me, the food looked disgusting and I felt a sudden feeling of nausea in my stomach.

After spitting so much blood, it was obvious that my stomach would reject food even if it was as good looking and delicious as in the lunch box.

I was about to close my lunch box and put it aside when I heard a VERY loud growl come from Naruto's stomach. Surprised, I looked openly at him as Sasuke and Sakura ignored the sound. Naruto noticed my surprised gaze and suddenly tried to cover it up.

"Oh that's nothing… I can stay alive without eating for weeks!!" he shouted.

"_Wow… weeks! I can too but I was never confident or daring enough to test it. But Naruto-sama actually did it and survived for WEEKS! He is so brave!"_

There was another loud growl that came from his stomach and I blinked.

"_Maybe he was already hungry for weeks and now he is at his limits… and that is why he is hungry,"_

"**Or he is lying,"**

"_Phoenix! You are back!"_

"**I am going back to sleep… I will wake up when you need my power,"**

"_WAIT!"_



I suddenly felt the Phoenix presence gone as I sighed to myself and looked up at Naruto again.

"Do you want to have my lunch, Naruto-sama?" I asked in a low whisper.

I didn't even thought that I would go on and say something like that. It was an offer and I didn't even thought about the consequences. Kakashi told us, strictly, not to give any food to Naruto because he cheated and it was obvious that if the person who will break his order, would certainly end up stripped away from his or her Konoha protector.

But I couldn't help it. I wasn't eating it anyway and it would go to waste. And as Naruto was so courageous and could stay away from food for weeks, it was obvious that Naruto deserved the lunch box more than anyone especially me.

Naruto at once brightened up and looked at me with a huge smile.

"REALLY UGLY RED!? YOU WANT TO GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH!?"

"_Ugly Red? Is it my nickname now?"_

I tried to smile but couldn't because of the offensive nickname. But before I could react in any way, Sakura objected in her loud obnoxious voice.

"Are you crazy Ugly Red? Wait… you are. If you give Naruto your lunch, you will be going against Kakashi-sensei's orders and then we will all get into trouble,"

I lowered my eyes, now confused but didn't say anything.

"I think Kimiko has a point," Uchiha suddenly added.

I spun my head towards him in surprise.

"_WOW! He called me by my NAME and AGREED with me! I have a supporter! Wait… what point do I have? I was sick and was giving my lunch to Naruto because it wouldn't go to waste? What kind of point was that?"_

"If Naruto doesn't get anything to eat, he will be weak and would be a burden to the team. And if he becomes a burden, he would be in the way and we won't be able to get the bells as we have to do teamwork,"

Sakura's attitude changed at once.

"You are right, Sasuke-kun," she squeaked.

I inwardly scowled.

"_Although it sophisticated, it's still mean. Doesn't he care that Naruto is hungry and Sakura and he are just being mean by eating in front of his face? I would have been more pleased if Sakura had said that…"_

I stood there with a quiet look before I looked back at Naruto and cocked my head sideways before outstretching my arms and raising the lunchbox until his face.

Naruto blinked.

"I am tied," he said.

"_Oh…"_

I took out a kunai and cut down the ropes so Naruto was free from his binds. He stretched and grinned before, aggressively, snatching the lunch box away from my hand and started to eat it in super speed.

I, having to get up to give the lunch box to Naruto, was about to sit down again when I felt a sudden change in the atmosphere.

Kakashi emerged from behind the trees, his eyes full of menace and were steel cold, his hands clenched into tight fists, ready to strike. His strides were big and powerful as he walked towards me. The sky, dramatically, started to darken.

I trembled as he ran towards us, his face etching with anger. I gulped loudly.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" He shouted loudly.

Naruto choked over the food that he was eating. Sasuke straightened up and Sakura got up in fright, her legs shaking. I was already standing before and my face had gone paler than before.

"Naruto was hungry! If… if he didn't eat then our…our team would be… weak and… we… would…fail and all," Sakura stammered out words.

"We had to do teamwork anyway," Sasuke added.

It was my turn and the way Kakashi was looking at me, it me wanted to go behind a tree and weep until late night again. Trembling, I bit my lip.

"Urrr… yo-u told me not to… not to…you don't have to get into other people's words!" I said, mustering all the rest of my courage.

The atmosphere even got more dangerous. I stepped back and stumbled over a mere rock before falling on my buttocks, scared to death.



Kakashi's eyes narrowed as he looked at me sharply. He, then, without waiting another second, charged towards us.

I closed my eyes and embraced myself for the hit but when I didn't feel one, I peak opened one eye and saw Kakashi, smiling, standing a few feet away from me.

"Congratulations, you all pass,"

The breath that in me, surprisingly, didn't went out like I had expected from the start, when the results would be out. I was still sitting there, my shoulders stiff and my eyes suddenly wide in surprise, as I stared at Kakashi-sensei.

"_What the hell is going on?"_

Kakashi looked down at us, suddenly acting very friendly.

"You agreeing to feed Naruto shows teamwork and you did that in order to help your teammate even though you had to disobey me. The goal of this exam was to work in a team and you already did that… making you the first team to do so,"

Naruto, who was looking around stupidly before, punched the air and yelled in a loud voice.

"Yeah! I passed!"

Sakura laughed slightly before looking at Kakashi-sensei again.

"But… there were only three bells and there were four of us…?"

"The aim of the test was to see if you all worked as a team or not and having one less bell only showed that the team would have to go through this obstacle that one of them is going to fail and would, in the end, turn to against each other to fight for the bell," Kakashi answered before tapping the bells on his belt. He stopped and stared down at them. I felt my body go numb.

"Ahh… there are only two bells here… which means that one of you either got the bell or I accidentally dropped it," he mused to himself.

I tried to concentrate my attention at something else and finally fixed my attention at a stray rock on the ground.

Kakashi shrugged carelessly.

"Oh well… let's us go. From tomorrow, we will start our missions," he said before turning around and walking away.



I sighed in relief as I got up from the ground and touched my neck. The wound was healed but my skin was covered in dry blood. I, unconsciously, started to rub the spot, trying to get rid of the blood but it was no use.

But I was glad that it didn't hurt anymore.

I was about to follow Kakashi when I felt a pair of eyes looking at me.

I turned back and saw Uchiha's eyes fixed on my neck. I blinked in horror and started to walk away, trying my best to ignore the fact that he might have noticed that my cut had healed.

As we walked away, I allowed my gaze to look at the sky and I sighed, silently, not wanting to get any attention from my team.

"Nee… Ugly Red?" Naruto's voice broke my thoughts and I averted my eyes from the sky towards him, questioningly. I could feel the others listening secretly too.

"Yes?"

"You didn't eat your lunch but instead gave it to me. Weren't you hungry?"

I panicked. I was NEVER good at lying! Neither was I good at recognizing people LYING! I and lying were heavens away and that was the reason why I tried to memorize excuses that were given by my brother and now… Kakashi-sensei.

"_PHOENIX HELP!"_

"**Just say anything… he is so dumb, he would believe you anyway…"**

I gulped silently.

"I just coughed blood so my stomach wasn't working right,"

"**Nicely put in…"**

"_Are you making fun of me?"_

"**You are so oblivious… even of a joke,"**

"But that doesn't tell me that you were hungry or not," Naruto said, stupidly.

Sakura frowned and punched him on his head. Sasuke rolled his eyes. I stopped in my tracks and stared at Naruto in surprise. Everyone stopped too.

"WAIT! IT DOESN'T!" Naruto yelled, staring at me, expecting me to answer.



"Uhh… food good through the gullet into the stomach," I answered him, surprised that he didn't know this fact.

Sakura and Sasuke stared at me in an unbelievable expression.

"What?" I asked them.

"What's a gullet?" Naruto suddenly asked.

"That," Sakura muttered.

I looked at Naruto.

"Gullet is the Esophagus," I answered him.

There were more unbelievable looks from Sasuke and Sakura.

Naruto blinked at me in confusion.

"But that still doesn't tell me that why you didn't eat," he whined.

"I just told you that my stomach…"

"SHUT UP!" Sakura yelled on top of her lungs.

I froze, scared.

Sakura glared at me.

"Ugly Red, Naruto is too stupid so if you started to explain him how the body works, he will destroy your mind," she seethed.

I blinked and looked at Naruto, closely.

"He is?" I asked curiously.

Sakura growled and I blinked again in confusion. She turned fiercely towards Naruto who gulped loudly and took a step back.

"She didn't eat because she is monster and monster don't eat,"

"But I do eat," I objected "I just said that my stomach…"

"UGLY RED!" Sakura turned towards with a menacing glare. My eyes opened wide and I stepped back.

"Don't talk!" she ordered me.



I felt a pang of hurt in my heart. I lowered my eyes; my face suddenly became emotionless as I steadied my steps. But I never talked… I never ever talked and when I do, I am a burden?

"**Kimiko, don't take it too hard,"**

Remembering Kakashi's advice, I nodded at Sakura and started to walk again.

I could feel the stares of Uchiha, Sakura and Naruto on my back but I still kept walking.

I was in my bathroom, taking a hot shower and rubbing off the blood when I suddenly realized that Kakashi-sensei had suddenly disappeared from the view when Naruto had asked me that question.

Oh that freaking question.

I closed my eyes as I felt the hot boiling water in my hair.

"I hate to be called Ugly Red," I said to myself before turning off the shower and slipping into a white bathroom gown.

I got into my pajamas and was lying in my bed, looking out of the window, at the stars as I started to pounder on things.

When I had reached home, there was nobody there. Actually most of the important people in the Yesha Clan had suddenly disappeared especially my whole family. I had walked into the kitchen and saw that there was nothing to eat. I drank some warm water, trying to sooth my scratched throat and went to my bedroom.

I suddenly remembered the third Hokage's and Kakashi's conversation when I was eavesdropping.

"They are going to do something bad to me and I can just feel it…" I told the stars twinkling high above through my window.

I sighed.

"What is the duty of a Phoenix's child? Just living like this? I don't understand anything at all,"

"I don't want to be hated anymore," I whispered, suddenly my eyes filled with tears.

"_SHUT UP!"_

"_DON'T TALK!"_

"_UGLY RED!"_

"_ARE YOU CRAZY!?"_

I closed my eyes, trying to get rid of the sudden thoughts in my head. Sniffing, I wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked dizzily out of my window again.

A line creased the sky, lighting it up for a second. A shooting star.

I closed my eyes at once.

"I wish there would be someone that would respect and love me,"

I kept my eyes closed and I eventually fell asleep.

**yo everyone. These past few days has been very annoying for me. My electricity keeps going and before that a murderous virus attacked my laptp which is only used to write stories and I had to install another windows. Sorryfor the delay...**

**btw... there are a couple of things I want to tell you all, this is an oc fic but it also contains a couple of other oppinions too. now the thing is I want you to ****  
****worry about changing the storyline. The storyline, like that in show and manga, will be changed slightly but it would probably stay the same.**

**Another Iwanted to clear up is the reason why naruto isnt defending kimiko when sakura calls her a monster is because naruto likes sakura and he doesnt understand what to do himself... he isconfusd.**

**ok... the next chapter will probably about the teaming and blah blah... there would be some interactions.**

**one more hing befor i go... kimiko is a confused lost girl who say different things that isnt what she wants to say. she is lost and deprived of love. she underestimates herself a lot.**

**the caracter more or less matches mine. please dont get bored reading this. **

**comment and make me happy. **


	5. Work

**The Phoenix Child**

**By Ayesha Raees **

**Chapter five  
Work**

We were suppose to meet everyday at five in the morning on the bridge for our team meeting which mainly included of Naruto yelling on top of his voice, Sakura punching him to silence and we all waiting for Kakashi-sensei to appear which he finally did at eight when the sun was shining brightly in the sky and making Sakura groan about getting a sunburn. When Kakashi-sensei would finally appear, there was, yet, another commotion that resulted, again, for the Uchiha threatening to use his fire jutsu which made everyone shut up _including _Kakashi.

And I also realized that Kakashi's excuses weren't that great as I had thought of before. I had used one of those excuses with my mother and she had, at once, said that it was wrong to lie.

So he was lying.

I sighed loudly, staring at the blue sky as I relaxed my muscles against the wooden bridge, feeling slightly tired out even though I had a good night's sleep. It had been two weeks since we had graduated from the little test that Kakashi had given to us. I remember the excitement on my first day of Genin only to wait for three long hours, feeling slightly small as either everyone ignored me or stared at me for too long.

Our first mission was picking up the garbage on the river. Kakashi disappeared, Sakura whined, I couldn't touch the water so I made a lame excuse of finding Kakashi and ditched the work.

Our second mission was weeding an old person's garden and we did that and I was glad that this time, I was some help. Naruto got scolded because he pulled out all the plants. Sakura was whining that her hands were getting dirty. Kakashi had, again, disappeared. Uchiha was silent.

Our third mission was taking the dogs out for a walk. Kakashi was reading. Sakura was making noises at the poodle, I led a Russian who kept jumping on me, knocking me into the mud and licking my face, making me giggle as everyone stared at me. Uchiha had a terrier which was obedient and didn't even need a leash. Naruto had a bull dog that almost killed him.

Sigh.



And so on… our so called mission ranged from cleaning the statues to picking up the garbage. Like we were sweepers or servants that had to clean the village. It made me felt even lower than before. Maybe we were, all, mislead into being servants… maybe Iruka-sensei actually trained kids into maids or servants on the excuses of ninjas!

Shivering at the thought, I suddenly relaxed when Kakashi suddenly appeared in front of us, reading a book. No, it can't really be possible that we were maids… we were just beginners so we needed to do… servant work.

After another half and hour of commotion, Uchiha at last said the same threat and everything settled down with a final growl directed to Uchiha from Naruto.

Kakashi cleared his throat and looked at us.

"Well today we have a ton to do like always. First we have a mission to clean up the training grounds and then we need to help in the hospital. Then we are going to help out in a famous restaurant," he stated as though they were so important that failing them would destroy Konoha.

"OH GREAT! CHORES!" Naruto yelled on top of his lungs.

"Yeah! Like my mother isn't enough!" Sakura snapped.

Uchiha grumbled something under his breath and I gave Kakashi a weary expression.

Kakashi was, unsurprisingly, reading his book again and then with a bored looked, took the lead towards the training ground.

* * *

**After five hours**

* * *

Cleaning the training grounds and then helping in the hospital took quite a long time, especially when Naruto and Uchiha kept getting into a fight and either Sakura or Kakashi had to break them up. Those two were so different from each other.

Surprisingly, Sakura liked working in the hospital more than any one of us. Especially at the baby department where Uchiha, me and Sakura had to handle the crying babes. I was horrible, I tried to shush them and they cried even louder. I begged and they still cried. Uchiha wasn't even trying… he was just leaning against the far off wall, his eyes closed, and a blank expression on his face.

In the end, Sakura did something ridiculous like singing a melody or kissing them and they all _finally _shut up.



Naruto wasn't really in the hospital because he was kicked out by a nurse because he did his oh-so-famous sexy no jutsu in the OPD.

This, of course, resulted in riots. Kakashi was beyond embarrassed when we told everyone that Naruto didn't belong in Team 7 and was just a stray. Well, Uchiha said that and it resulted in another commotion.

Naruto was officially banned from the hospital. Poor him.

When we got out of the hospital, we met up with Naruto who was talking to the Hokage's grandson. Naruto whined that they go for ramen so that he could get his energy back and then get to work.

His work: irritating everyone and ditching work.

So we all went to Ichiraku's Ramen stand and I was glad that they made stuff that was warm. The last thing I wanted was to be dragged into an ice cream shop… I would be beyond scared, explaining to them that I could not eat cold things because I was the Phoenix Child. They would ask why and then I would be clueless because I had no idea about this whatsoever.

So ramen was ok.

When we had our bowls and we started eating, I was pretty much surprised that we were all conversing rather than being quiet. Even I, the ugly wallflower, spoke two to three times. Well… but I shut up when Naruto, rather frankly, asked.

"So Ugly Red, what's up with this Dragon's babe stuff thingy?"

I choked at what he had just called the Phoenix Child. First Ugly Red and now Dragon's babe? Sure Ugly Red was there for a reason but Dragon's Babe was absolutely stupid and made up. It didn't describe anything at all.

But I suddenly realized that most of the villagers didn't know anything about the prophecy or the fact that I was blessed with the power of a Phoenix to send judgment in this world. They just knew that I had a monster inside me, was distorted and was dangerous. Lack of knowledge lead to fear.

Not that I am blaming them, the last thing I wanted is go around, telling everyone about the prophecy.

Apart from Naruto's very curious gaze, Uchiha had narrowed his eyes towards to me too, Sakura had stopped complaining about hair fall and even Kakashi had lowered his book, aiming to listen to what I had to say.



Which was absolutely nothing… I mean, I can't seriously tell them about the prophecy… thinking now, I didn't know much about it myself.

I looked up at Naruto.

"It's not Dragon's Babe… it's the Phoenix's Child,"

Naruto looked not a bit concerned about calling the wrong name. Sakura giggled and then looked at me.

"But aren't Dragons and Phoenixes mythical beasts that do not exist except in fairy tales, _Kimiko_?" She said in a very sweet, fake voice, calling me by my name that simply indicated that this was all bullshit.

I felt my face go red.

"**I don't like her at all,"**

"_You can say that again,"_

I ignored her… I mean how could I certainly define myself? Phoenixes were mythical creatures… or maybe not. I was really confused… so I ignored her.

"Seriously," Sakura continued, "I think you are just making everything up so you can get more attention,"

"_Who the hell would want attention that leads to the whole village hating me? I would give anything to live a normal life," _

I didn't answer again. I turned my gaze towards my ramen and started to eat again. It was only lies and rumors… stupidity. Those stares, hate… I didn't care if they didn't believe me… I just wanted to fit in. Maybe this was for the better.

But it still hurt… she was insulting me and my phoenix.

My phoenix had dignity and it hates being insulted. Especially if it was by a pink haired kunoichi who had no idea about anything except how glossy her hair looked and how soft her skin was.

I suddenly felt a burning sensation in my stomach and I tried my best to control it.

"_Phoenix! Control yourself!" _

Sakura sighed and rolled her eyes.

"So… er… you haven't really answered my question," Naruto said uneasily.



I felt the burning sensation in my stomach falter and my Phoenix swirled around uneasily before settling down.

I looked away from my half eaten ramen bowl and stared directly into Naruto's sapphire eyes. I felt his body go stiff and there was an uneasy silence.

I suddenly gave him a small smile.

"I will tell you when I feel like it,"

"_Which is never,"_

I looked away again and started to eat again. I felt Naruto shiver before ordering another bowl, Kakashi concentrating on his book again, Sakura moving her gaze from me to her nails and Uchiha, monotonously, tore his concentration from the conversation and started to eat again, probably lost in his own thoughts.

"_I wonder what Uchiha is brooding over all the time,"_

"**Well probably thinking how to kill his older brother,"**

I almost choked over on what I was eating. Easing my coughing, I wiped my mouth with a napkin shakily.

"_WHAT!! WHY!?" _

"**His older brother killed his whole clan and only left him alive, giving him a mission to avenge his clan," **

"_WHO IN THE HELL WOULD DO THAT!? I mean… he killed his OWN family? His mom? His dad? Everyone?"_

"**Yes. He did."**

"_God. What a monster! What was he thinking?" _

"**He must have hated his clan or something,"**

"_Yes but… I hate my family too but… BUT I won't KILL them!" _

"**Wouldn't you?"**

I felt a huge knot in my throat.

Suddenly I felt sick.

* * *



Working in a very famous and posh restaurant wasn't easy as everyone had expected. Kakashi-sensei had, as usual, disappeared, leaving us in the entrance alone. The hotel was so huge that, thanks to Sakura's information, had twenty halls, all of them so big that they could fill almost fifty thousand people at the least. There were almost five thousand rooms and it didn't take a genius to figure out that every piece of furniture probably cost a fortune.

And when the manager, who was the one who had requested the so called mission in the first place, was a rough man who didn't care about how his tongue went when talking to employees, pretty much stunk… it was obvious that the so called mission wasn't going to go well.

It was a matter of fact when Naruto was boiling with rage, his face visible red and with Sakura almost strangling him so he wouldn't jump on the tuxedo guy and kill him. Even Uchiha got a comment on his hair cut saying that it was like a chicken's butt. Uchiha had narrowed his eyes and glared at the man but it was easily visible that he was offended by the given insult.

And when his eyes fell on me, I knew what was coming. I mean seriously, a guy like him who even insulted Uchiha, a guy who was perfect in everyone's eyes, why wouldn't he know of all the rumors and everything? His eyes, at once, filled hatred and he gave me a pure disgusted look.

He opened his mouth, tearing his eyes off me, and addressed to all of us.

"The reason I hired you four dimwits here is because tonight there is going to be couple of big dinners here and almost all of the halls are going to be filled. And when I asked the Hokage for some help, let me be honest, I didn't except kids like you to be here," his voice was hoarse and fat, filled with, of course, disgust. He didn't have any kind of charm that managers were supposed to have and that made me wonder how he got so many customers.

He cleared his throat again; a sound of a broken motor trying to come to life.

"So I don't actually have a choice except give you four useless brats jobs," he said and then pointed at Sakura.

"You are now going to help in the kitchen and then after an hour, become a waitress,"

I glanced sideways at Sakura, whose face was twisted, holding her anger behind her forced sweet smile.

"Will I get a cool outfit?" she asked.

The manager raised his eyebrows at her.



"Yes," he said in a sarcastic voice, "You will get an outfit, _pinky_,"

Sakura gasped her eyes wide. She gulped loudly, her hands twisted into fists. She, again, forced a very evil fake smile on her face.

The manager tore his eyes from her and looked at Naruto.

"You are going to help in the furnace room with this…" he glanced over at me with a scowl, "… this _thing _over there,"

"_Thing?"_

"WHAT!? A furnace?! But I wanna work with Sakura-chan!!" Naruto whined loudly.

"Is that or the garbage person," the manager said with a smirk.

Naruto opened his mouth to protest, for a minute thought something, and then closed his mouth, his face forming into a scowl.

"And you chicken butt guy… you are with the pinky,"

"YES!" Sakura yelled, throwing her arms in the air in triumph, her face lighting up in pure joy and happiness. "SASUKE-KUN IS WITH ME! YEAH! YEAH! SAKURA RULES! HOORAY!!"

She was actually doing a happy dance. Uchiha looked horrified for some reason or other and covered his face with his right hand in embarrassment. Naruto glared at the raven haired boy and the manager looked disgusted.

"**OK**, I change my mind… Blondie!" he gave a sharp look at Naruto, "… You are with the Pinky…" Sakura, at once, stopped dancing, facing the manager with sudden tears of hurt and anger in her eyes but the manager ignored her and kept on going, "Chicken-butt, you are with that _thing_… GOT IT!? GO!"

There was a sick silence as nobody moved. Sakura kept staring at the manager with big glistening teary eyes. Naruto had a huge goofy smile on his face. Uchiha looked somehow relieved.

And as of me… there was only one thought in my poor little head.

"_Thing? What thing? Why did he call me that? He could have given me a nickname too you know… why call me a thing? I am a human being with a phoenix planted in her. Why? Why? Why?..."_

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY SIGHT AND GET TO WORK!!" The manager yelled so loudly that the chandeliers above us, on the ceiling, trembled.



I squeaked, scared out of my skin suddenly and started to walk towards nowhere, seeking for the so called furnace room.

"OYE! THE ROOM IS OVER THERE!" The manager yelled at me again and I jumped again, my hands shooting towards the place where my heart was and I clutched my clothes tightly, my face paler than usual as I followed the manager's finger towards a door in the direction opposite of where I was going.

Uchiha, sighing and still at ease, slipped his hands into his pockets and started to make his way towards the door.

He was a good way towards it when my mind told my body to follow him. A glare was shot from the manager to me again as I walked towards the door, just behind the Uchiha who was oblivious of me even being there.

I entered through the door, leaving the brightly lit corridor behind me and heaved a huge sigh of relief.

"I am not a _thing_," I muttered to myself, arguing and convincing to myself to an invisible boundary of confidence which ended up in a futile try.

It was after some time when I realized that the Uchiha had turned to stare at me with his black onyx eyes. I hated his eyes. They were so dark and deep and frightening. I blushed in embarrassment and looked around.

We were in a dark, dimly lit, long corridor which smelt of diesel and oil.

I felt a headache coming. The Uchiha started walking again and I followed his closely, my hand shooting towards my nose, wishing that the smell would go away and it would be replaced by something more pleasant… like rose water and mint. Something my mother used to put in my baths when I was still young and clueless.

Even thinking of the smell, made me feel a ton better and imagining a fantasy of my mother doing the same for me when I went home, made me feel so much better that my hand dropped from my nose and I didn't even notice the heavy smell of diesel and oil anymore.

I looked in front, staring at the back of the raven haired boy and suddenly felt an unlimited amount of grief fill inside of me, making me look down at my feet. I hated my family, that was a fact, and if my family suddenly disappeared one day, I would still feel a mixture of grief and regret. Grief because they were my blood and it didn't really matter how they treated me because blood was blood. And regret because I didn't say goodbye or asked them for forgiveness for all the pain I have caused them or just smiled at them. It wouldn't have hurt as much as thinking them as suddenly gone.



But thinking now, as I stared at the grooming boy's back, I had always remembered him as a silent, dark, anti-social brooding boy. But now I knew the reason. Uchiha, unlike me, must have loved his family and his family must have loved him back. How old was he when his family was massacred? Probably eight or even younger. He must had no idea what death was and how painful it could be but experiencing something such as his whole loving family disappearing into a puff of smoke, and that too because of his older brother, must have been terribly painful. His older brother. Maybe Uchiha had looked up to him, smiled and played with him, got piggy backs on him and spent his younger days with him. Wasn't older siblings, apart from hers, supposed to look after their younger siblings. They had some kind of loving bond didn't they?

But now, I felt sick as I imagined how Uchiha must have felt when his older brother was the cause of the rest of his family's deaths… he must have been all alone, feeling isolated. It was like destiny had set his future for him, like mine. I was the phoenix child and I had to pass judgment… it was decided and it couldn't be changed. Likewise, the Uchiha was alone and had only one goal and that to avenge his clan. And that was destiny… he wouldn't go anywhere except for that path.

I covered my face with my hand again as tears gathered in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.

I wasn't misfortunate like I always thought… there were people out there who shared the same pain or maybe worst. I felt bad for the Uchiha… He had experienced death… but me? I haven't… _ever_… experienced death.

Sure, there were name calling and rejection but never death.

Images of my mother, my beautiful mother, lying dead on the floor in a puddle of blood flashed through my mind, making bile rise to my throat and my feet staggered to keep balance.

"Stay close, I see a door uphead," Uchiha suddenly said.

I blinked and suddenly sniffed.

"Yes, Uchiha-sama," I whispered, my voice quivering, simply indicating that I was upset.

He suddenly stopped and turned around to face me. I couldn't see his face properly as it was so dark but I was glad of the darkness for once, if I couldn't see his face, it meant that he couldn't see mine.

Most probably.

"Are you crying?" he suddenly asked in surprise.

"_Yes,"_

"No,"

I waited for him to turn away but I felt his onyx eyes on my face.

"It's the oil… it's stinging," I said in a quivery voice again, wiping the tears from my face with my sleeves. Trying to sound assuring, I said in a firmed up voice.

"It's heavy here… the diesel and oil, Uchiha-sama,"

Uchiha sighed loudly and turned around.

"Don't call me that… I have a name,"

I blinked in surprise as I started to follow him again.

"Is Sasuke-sama ok?"

"I am your comrade, there shouldn't be any difference in status here," he tried to explain.

"I… umm… ok but… its seems disrespectful if I address you informally," I tried to reason back.

He sighed loudly.

"Just call me Sasuke,"

"Sasuke-san,"

"No, Sasuke,"

"But… it's seems disrespectful!"

"Do I call you Kimiko-san?"

I blushed at the sound of the name.

"No,"

"Then should I?"

"NO! I wouldn't like that… it sounds…formal," I argued to myself more than I was doing with him.

"Exactly. I have a name so call me with that with no suffixes,"

"Oh… okay," I said uneasily.



Since when did I get so frank with him? I actually started an argument with him and I don't even know him. Sure Naruto is a huge chatterbox and Sakura says a lot of mean things to me and the only person who hasn't talked to me IS him. I bit my bottom lip.

Sasuke suddenly stopped in front of a door and I almost bumped into him. He opened the door and an air of over 50 degrees temperature hit my face.

I entered the room and gasped.

It was huge! With heaters and machines and heat and warm… it felt great, my body felt like it belonged there, there at the middle of the room.

Today was the day; I truly felt like a phoenix child.

"**I like it here," **the phoenix stated.

Smiling slightly as a strange warm cozy feeling started to fill my stomach, I glanced at Sasuke who wiped some sweat from his brow and sighed in irritation.

"That bastard of a manager," he muttered under his breath. He glanced at me and raised his eye brows at my cool composure.

"Er… you know the whole Phoenix Child thing. Well heat doesn't really affect me," I explained sheeply.

He rolled his eyes and started to walk towards a group of workers. I, feebly, followed him.

"So it's true… the whole phoenix thing?" he asked suddenly.

"Yes," I answered.

He opened his mouth to say something else but one of the workers beat him to it.

"Oh great, newbies! Come here you two, we need a hand!"

Sasuke closed his mouth and pressed his lips, gave me a closing cold glance and turned away to help, leaving me behind in the growing heat.

I suddenly felt sick again.

* * *

It wasn't hard at all, especially for me. Most of the workers got exhausted because of the growing heat, heavy smell of fuels, ashes in the air and pretty much trying not to get hurt. There were constant breaks and shifts every twenty minutes in which the workers would get a cold drink and rest to gather up their strengths so they could work again.



And the person who had instructed us wasn't a bad scowling mean person at all. For first, he addressed Sasuke and me with our first names and that pretty much made my day. Also, he wasn't really concerned, as it looked like, about my appearance or was disgusted as for the rumors. He had instructed in a cheerful voice and told us to do some jobs.

And as the time passed, almost all of the workers knew that I wasn't really getting affected by the heat. For one thing, I wasn't sweating, my hair weren't sticking at the back of my neck like everyone else's but it was the same open red curtain like always. Second thing that I had accidentally touched a boiling hot iron piece and if it wasn't for the worker's panicked yells at me, I wouldn't have withdrew my hand because the molten steal felt great on my hand. But as Daichi, our instructor, came with the first aid, he was pretty much shocked that I had no burns or bruises… in fact, I was fine.

There were some curious glances but everything settled down. Sasuke had fixed me with a very intense stare that almost made me feel like dying and it had lasted for a good fifteen minutes until he tore his eyes from my spotless demeanor. I guess he did understand that I was the Phoenix Child.

Sasuke was a mess though. Sweat, dirt and scratches filled his body and when Daichi had asked him to take some time off, he had shaken his head and told him that it was fine and said that this was good training. And that had made me wonder if he cared about anything else except for perfection and training

So pretty much… everything was going smoothly, everyone was way to damn busy to notice me and I was considered as one of them… a strong hard worker, when I loaded in coal and oil into the huge fire. Although I wasn't sweating, I was dirty… more than any worker because I was something that almost none of them were… and that was careless. I had tripped a couple of times and fell onto the VERY dirty fuel stained floor, my hands, who had picked up countless of coals, buckets and stuff, had been cleaned by my clothes even though Daichi has given us both towels and there were black marks on my bare arms and on my face.

I sure needed a bath.

In one of the breaks, me, Sasuke, Daichi and a couple of other workers were resting and drinking, when Sasuke had asked about the purpose of the furnace room and Daichi, quite cheerfully, had explained that there were baths in the back of the hotel of which the hot water was needed for. Also, he had told us, that there were about plenty of customers that needed hot water and as there were a lot parties that day, a lot to be used in the kitchen.

So much to be done only for hot water.



Sure it was tiring and head aching, but weirdly I had a lot of fun. Mainly because almost all of the workers weren't mean losers who gave me disgusted looks but they all accepted me as one of them even though I had helped around only for a little time. During breaks, they would chat, make lame jokes and asked questions that I answered, first hesitantly, but then cheerfully. Daichi had praised me for my hardwork countless of times and I realized that Sasuke could get exhausted too. It was all a very good experience and for some distorted reason when in the end, I felt dirty, exhausted and tired… I felt a rich goodness fill inside me.

And then I realized that when a person pushes himself to an end of his limits, he then knows how to truly live a life.

We worked there for almost three to four hours until all the workers were satisfied and Daichi said that they no longer needed any more help. He had excused us with a proud smile and with a few encouraging words: "Work hard you two and one day you will become a great team!"

It was kind of embarrassing but I felt happy. Even Iruka-sensei, who I considered very caring, never said something like that. At that moment, I felt like I _could _become _someone_.

Me, Yesha Kimiko, not The Phoenix Child. But as me. A normal, hardworking person.

And that, for some reason or another, felt really reassuring.

Sasuke and I were walking back towards the exit, through the same diesel filled corridor, panting in exhaustion when I decided to speak something and break the ever lasting silence.

"That was fun," I stated sheeply, trying to cancel all the pants that were coming rapidly.

"Hn,"

"What?" I asked confused at the noise he had made. Was he sick?

"… nothing," he muttered after a pause.

"Oh,"

_So much for breaking the silence and starting a conversation._

But I, surprisingly, was in a good mood and for some diminished reason, felt like talking.

"Naruto-sama and Sakura-sama are going to be surprised when they see us like this," I said, referring to our VERY dirty demeanors.



He didn't answer; he didn't even spare a glance at me. He just closed his eyes and ignored me. I tried my best not to twitch, I looked upwards, thinking that I would see a plain white ceiling but I was faced with darkness.

"Daichi-san was nicer than the manager, don't you think?"

Sasuke stopped suddenly in his tracks, spun around and glared at me, his onyx eyes narrowing and for a second I mistook them as crimson slits. Gulping suddenly, I took a step back, suddenly feeling small and scared.

"Is this your idea of small talk?" he snapped angrily.

"Uhh I…"

"Don't talk to me. You are irritating," he snapped again, turned around and started to walk again.

I bit my bottom lip, taken aback at his sudden outburst towards me. What did I do? I was just talking. Was talking that bad?

I ducked my head down and started to walk again, keeping sure to keep distance from the dark brooding Uchiha.

"_I wonder why Sakura likes him. He has a lot of mood swings,"_

"**Like you don't,"**

"_I pretty much don't," _I argued inwardly, _"But he does,"_

"**Sakura is a fake, stupid, annoying and useless idiot,"**

I frowned.

"_Awww, are you still angry at what she said?"_

"**I have every right to be angry at her… she insulted a power that she can never understand, forget obtain it,"**

"_Don't be like that. I bet she is a wonderful person in all that… rudeness,"_

"**Grrr… you are too kind,"**

I smiled brightly at the darkness. I could see Sasuke open the door a couple of feet away from me and disappear. Knowing that I was now alone in the darkness, I stopped, sighed and rubbed the back of my neck. The scar that I had obtained on the third training ground was now gone.

"_Phoenix, can I ask you something?"_

"**Yes,"**

I bit my bottom lip hesitantly.

"_Why did you choose me as the Phoenix Child? Why not… why not someone else?"_

There was a minute silence in my mind. The smell of oil was getting to my head and I could feel another head ache coming.

"**Can I ask you something too?"**

Surprised at such a response, I blinked a couple of times. Never before had the Phoenix said something like that. Us being one, it meant that we knew everything about each other. I frowned. Well, I didn't know much about the Phoenix as most of the questions about the prophecy was shunned by it saying **'I will answer when it is time,' **and that left me really confused and impatient. But I could feel the Phoenix when it was angry, sad, cross… I could feel it. But sometimes… I didn't understand what was going on with it… sometimes it was too silent.

Once I had asked him a question that concerned the relationship we both shared and it had answered that it was my guide to the world far and wide. It was my guardian.

So didn't it mean that it knew everything that was going on in my head? Then why was he asking me something like that?

"_Ye-yes… what do you want to know?"_

There was silence again, the sickening silence. My mind was silent, my insides felt empty… it felt like The Phoenix had left my body and it was replaced by sudden cold silence.

"**Why do you hate me so?" **

I felt a huge knot form in my throat, as though suddenly somebody was strangling me. It became tighter and tighter, bigger and bigger and I couldn't breathe. I felt my heart clutch again and again, as though screaming for blood; I felt my lungs gasp as though thirsting for air. I felt my head pounding, screaming, yelling, thrashing… paining. My body felt heavier than lead and I hardly felt my knees hit the fuel stained ground and I hardly felt my hands shot towards my throat, trying to loosen the invisible grasp that was strangling me to death.

"**Why don't you understand that you are blessed and not cursed?"**

"_Ph-phoenix… it hurts… stop it,"_



I couldn't feel anything anymore. The darkness looked even more evil than usual but somehow I could see it shape into cloaked shadows, toothlessly smiling at me, offering me their hands for me to take. But my hands, they felt numb, cold, heavy but they were still clutching each other near my throat. No… no, I can't take them.

"**This is what you are… this is what you deserve… when you have power, you need to control it! Not be pathetic!"**

"_Stop… please… stop,"_

The shadows were becoming tempting and it was strange that I had never noticed them before. They shifted and changed. They were dark and concealing. And they were offering me to hold them. What could possibly go wrong now? Everything was a blur anyway… I couldn't see anything… maybe it was the tears that were flowing from my eyes or the fact that my mind was dead and I couldn't breathe. What was the point of it all anyway? Save the world and new evil will be born… destroy the world and nobody is there to love you still… what was the point anyway?

The shadows were so tempting.

"**There are people around you who hate you and you know what… you hate them! You hate me! The whole problem is you! For how long are you going to cower and cry? You are blessed for something important. People are dying to be in your place!"**

The voice in my head seemed to be yelling but I couldn't understand it anymore. It was also a blur to me… the voice was faded and gone. And for some reason, I didn't want to try to hear it… it felt disgusted, angry and aghast. Why would I want to hear something like that? It was heart aching anyway… everything was heart aching.

I released my hands from each other and raised them, touching the shadows. They were cold, metallic cold… so this was what cold was. So cool and nice but maybe a too metallic… forced. I had always wondered how cold felt like… and it wasn't that bad. It was not so fierce like fire but it wasn't too harsh either… it was… relaxing.

The shadows were silently laughing now. So is this how a person dies?

"… **Try to sacrifice sometimes!" **

Even though the voice was faded and dull, I could hear the words that made me blink again and again. Sacrifice? Something? That voice didn't understand… it was just nonsense, yelling, screaming… paining, killing. It was yelling again but I didn't bother to listen to the next series of words. The shadows were hovering just above me; I had touched their hands for a second but they want me to hold to them tightly.



I raised my hand with strength that I had no idea where it was coming from and grabbed the shadows hand tightly. It smiled cunningly at me. Was it happy?

I felt my eyes close and I welcomed the darkness come over me, slowly… it was like being swept with nice cool calm water. The shadows became my blanket and I fell into its depths, feeling slightly relieved and numb. I let myself go.

Sacrifice? I sacrificed everything. Everything I had, I wanted, I wished… everything.

What was it yelling about? That faded old dull voice? What was its problem? Weren't we friends? Then why did it kill me?

There was something in the shadows now… a light; an orange fire, as small as a candle light. It was like a lighted spot in a middle of swirling black cloaks, it didn't belong there… it shouldn't be there.

The dull faded voice had suddenly stopped and there was an agonizing silence. The light flickered. The darkness swirled.

I was five years old, my hair too long for me to handle, drooping down my eyes, clutching a rag doll in my right hand, its legs touching the dirty ground. I was crying I think or maybe it was blood, I didn't know. I was just standing there.

And suddenly there were panicked screams, yells, shouts… too much noise that I couldn't understand but it was like a bomb had exploded in my head, creating chaos. I trembled as my small hands reached to grab my head, nails digging through the strands of hair into my scalp.

There was a loud bird's cry followed by more pain streaking bird shrieks. It was like they were in pain… agony… on fire.

The candle light wasn't flickering anymore and then suddenly, it blew up and everything exploded into a rush of fire, drowning me into it too. The heat was agonizing, the fire was hungry and everything was, again, a mixture of cries, yells and blur of colors that could not be identified.

* * *

"_He had killed her",_ he mused over the thought and sighed, running his hand through his short crimson bangs. Crimson as blood streaked with a tinge of blue here and there. His eyes were an agonizing color of pale yellow that shone in the darkness of the forest in which he was present, looking both angry and calm… a mixture of impatience and disappointment. He sighed hotly, a small series of ashes erupting from his throat and out in the cold moist air, extinguishing after a few minutes of glow.



"Kira-san, he is here,"

A small voice whispered from beside him, making him straighten up and cross his human arms under the red cloak he was wearing. He turned and glanced at the _person _standing stiffly beside him. A girl with chin length crimson hair and steel cold electrifying blue eyes with slits. She wore a crimson cloak just like him but it had a tint of blue at the bottom.

He smirked, motioning his eyes towards the ink colored sky and even though there was no source of natural light that specific night, he could see a big crimson bird, abnormally larger than any bird found on the planet. Its wings were three feet long as they flapped a couple of times before outstretching themselves in the night's sky as it allowed its body to hover around. A trail of fire was lit on the edges of the wings and the tail, burning in the night's sky and giving out a warm bright light which lighted up making the darkness fade away into nothing. Its eyes, pale yellow, rotated here and there, scanning the area and searching around for something when his eyes fell on the two standing figures in a middle of a random clearing. It soared in a circle, descending slowly and came into a firm landing on the ground.

The boy named Kira raised his eye brows at him, a sneer coming on his face. The girl beside him shifted in impatience, her hands clutching into fists inside her cloak.

The Phoenix straightened up, tugging its wings and fixing the two with an intense stare before ducking his head down in rejection. Suddenly a fire began to brew from its claws; it was slow first but after a second the small flames erupted in a burst of crimson fire, enveloping the bird's body entirely as it disappeared.

As quick as the fire has started, it ended with a sizzling crack into the air, leaving behind a smell of ashes.

Where there was a bird, now stood a young boy, his hair, all crimson, ended till his chin in a straight cut, his eyes were crimson and were probably too big for his very pale face. He was wearing a full sleeved red T-shirt with a black and red leather jacket with a hood on it. On the bottom he wore black capric and red boots. On his neck he wore a shining konoha forehead protector. The same outfit as the girl he had just killed.

There was silence as he stared at the two figures before ducking his head down in regret and shame, his bangs falling forward on his eyes which slowly closed shut.

"So the great Kaji-sama, bearer of the Phoenix Child, is finally here," the girl spat out angrily. She, threateningly, took a step forward when Kira's arm shot upwards to stop her. Blinking in sudden confusion, she looked at him in a questioning look.

Kira, taking a deep breathe, looked at the boy a couple of feet away from them.



"Please explain your actions Kaji-sama," he asked in a forced patient voice.

There was silence again as the boy called Kaji looked up slowly and opened his mouth hesitantly before closing it again, feeling uncomfortable and uneasy. He bit his bottom lip.

"I lost… I lost my temper," he said.

Kira frowned.

"Lost your temper? You killed the Child! She was the person that we were supposed to serve! Our hope! The person who has to pass judgment! And you killed her only because _you lost your temper!?_" he yelled.

Kaji closed his eyes again.

"She cant be killed,"

"That doesn't matter! She will remember everything that happened! She wont trust us anymore!!"

"So what? She hated everything about the prophecy and us anyway!" Kaji suddenly yelled, his voice echoing through out the silence of the forest.

There was a minute of sickening silence. Kira shut his mouth and looked away and the girl standing next to him looked pale and shocked.

Kaji breathed out deeply, trying to calm himself down. He looked at the two sedately and sighed.

"It's just… humans are so complicated. There are really hard to understand," he tried to explain.

"Kaji-sama, I don't think so she hated us," the girl suddenly said frowning.

Kaji looked at her in confusion.

"What do you mean Hina-san?"

She hesitated a bit before speaking.

"Humans like her just _don't _hate others. They just hate themselves. That's what Daisuke-sama told us a few centuries ago, remember?" she said.

There was another minute silence.



"I guess I made a mistake," Kaji suddenly said, sighing and burying his face in his hands.

Kira looked at the sky and exhaled a few more sparks of fire.

"You are the bearer Kaji-sama and even we, legendary beasts, make mistakes. But I am only going to state the obvious before we leave," he fixed the other boy with a serious gaze, "There won't be any relationship between us and her if she doesn't trust us anymore. Somebody else killing her is a totally different thing than ourselves, her power, killing her. She is our last hope and I suggest you that you fix this. The time might be quite near… you need to build up that trust again,"

Kaji closed his again, thinking over what he had said. It was quite true and he knew this deep down himself. He was supposed to be the most able phoenix to become a bearer and, even though he didn't want to admit it, but he had just blew up everything.

"Farewell and good luck Kaji-sama," Hina whispered as they both retreated into the shadows. After a few minutes, the darkness was pushed back by a powerful fire and before he knew it, two phoenixes erupted from the trees and were flying away, towards the horizon.

Sighing, Kaji allowed himself to sit down on the ground, troubled.

He, strangely, didn't care anymore if the prophecy would come true or not or whether the world would be destroyed or saved. It was ironic, he, being a phoenix, had devoured such feelings but strangely he treasured them inside. Because you can get power if you worked hard for it but you can't find happiness until the others allow to give you some. And now sitting, he remembered the times they both had shared. He was her… her guardian… someone who was supposed to look after her. He remembered how they both had laughed, shared… they both had met people and they both had consoled each other.

They were something called friends. A word invented by humans.

"_Humans," _he thought quietly_, "are so complicated,"_

He expected a laugh from inside his head or a comment.

And there was silence. The agonizing, torturing silence.

* * *

**I am going to post some cool tidbits or quotes from now on at the end of every chapter. :p **

**here is today's! **

_Everything is falling into pieces but that its place so I am not going to say this agonizing phrase anymore. I am going to say something so much alike yet so much different; everything is just falling into places._

**Did you know...?**

_Nani, in japanese, means what. But Nani in Japanese means grandmother in Urdu._ :D  
Lolzzz...

**Okay anyway... a few things... the last page breaker wasnt edited so there is probably a billion embarrassing mistakes there. god... anyway... my chapters are so long that it takes a lot of will power to edit. :p. anyway... sorry for the LATE update... I found a new hobby; photography and I was snapping away pictures a.k.a wasting time. I am ditching school for 10 days because I am on vacations :D but I am going to go to school on monday and I will be even more busy. Gomen nasai! :(**

**Thanks for all those wonderful reviws. I lub you guys! **

**and Yeah... the red head guy, Kaji is the phoenix inside kimiko after he had killed her. Kaji means fire. **

**Next chapter would be more heart breaking than this one. I guess. I made Sasuke a meanie! A curious meanie... but still a meanie! :p **


	6. Reborn

**The Phoenix Child**

**By Ayesha Raees**

**Chapter six**

**Reborn**

The feeling was horrible. It felt like that my heart was thrashed out of my chest and it was crushed again and again with vessels still attached to it. It felt like having a heat attack a thousand times over. My lungs were screaming for nothing but air and yet when I tried to breathe in… I realized that air was already stuck in my throat but it refused to go down to my lungs.

I was and felt at a whim.

And then after the constant slashing and for the first time burning, and this time it actually hurt, there was silence. An eerie silence. Like some hidden part of me has been removed from my body and thrown away into oblivion.

But the darkness continued; creating shadows in cloaks that danced before me but didn't, or maybe couldn't, approach me.

And as the darkness continued dancing around me, I realized that the slashing had stopped. But the pain of my sore wounds and my non-bleeding cuts was still there.

When after what I felt like an eternity, I had gathered enough energy to open my eyes, which I had realized had closed accepting the darkness within me too, I had expected to see the same old cloaks made up of darkness sneering and smiling at me cunningly… dancing in front of me like they were before… but alas, I faced nothing like that.

Maybe if I had faced them again after my short slumber, I would have been relieved. At least… they had not abandoned me like so many I knew. At least I would know where I was.

But when my eyes opened and faced the light on my face, which was surprisingly very warm, I had felt like I was in a different dimension.

I had to blink several times to clear my blurred vision and think almost a dozen times to comprehend the fact that the light on my face was nothing but warm sunlight and my surroundings belonged to nowhere but my room.

And it _was_ my room and I _was_ asleep on my bed. I swallowed my rather parched throat and sat up with a flinch. My body was all sore.

How long had I been asleep? Or more importantly… when did I go to sleep?

"**Good Morning,"**

The voice startled me for some reason, making me look around at my familiar surroundings to see who it was who had greeted me. The voice was too clear for some reason and my throbbing ears and eyes had been closed to foreign sounds for sometime. But as the voice settled down in me, my eyes widened, my ears opened, my throat took in a great amount of air and my memories came flooding back to me.

Despite the sun, I started to shiver.

After what looked like an eternity, I dragged myself out of bed and stood in front of my full length mirror.

I was in the same attire that I had been what seemed like years ago in the furnace room in the old hotel. I took in a deep breath and made a face… I smelled horrible.

Ignoring the smell… I stared closely at my reflection. My face was paper white. My eyes were red shot. My lips looked dry pink and purple like they had been starved like a rose in a desert. I lifted my hand and flinched in pain. Everything hurt everywhere.

I closed my eyes… trying to close myself from reality. I tried to remember. I tried to understand.

All I could remember was immense pain.

I gritted my teeth in exasperation; the feeling was raw and tasted disgusted, as I continued digging through my memories.

And like I was bolted by electricity… my eyes snapped opened, feeling suddenly nauseated, I stared at my reflection.

"I was strangled wasn't I?" I thought to myself in shock.

I strained my eyes towards my neck… trying to see any kind of marks but it was clear.

I, with all my force, gulped and felt a searing pain run through my throat into my parched lungs. My head spun with the sudden shot of pain.

It was like, as I supported myself against the wall, I had been strangled by something inside.

There was silence as I panted and flinched when the air gnawed at my throat. My eyes were wide and I was covered in cold sweat.

I closed my eyes suddenly, cradling myself against the wall, wrapping my arms around me for support as I tried to ease the pain, that had got nothing to do with the sores, that started to sprout in the pit of my stomach.

"…Phoenix… why…?"

I coughed suddenly, spraying blood all over my body. Shocked and frightened, I extended my hands, covered in splatters of blood, in front of my face and tried to control my continuous shaking.

"**I am sorry Kimiko,"**

Tears started to flow down my blood splattered cheeks as I, ignoring the crimson liquid, buried my face into my hands.

No wonder the voice didn't sound familiar anymore.

* * *

When I hear my husband and my son talk about her like that, I want to scream out loud and punish them. But I am weak. I have always been weak. And being married into the Yesha family, and that too of the main branch, was the greatest honour any woman can have. I will admit it… at that time, when I was young and beautiful, I had always dreamed of a blond prince and a white horse coming from all over the Moon Country and asking me to be his bride.

When the proposal for the future heir of the Yesha Clan came, I was overjoyed. A girl, who had no exposure to the world except for how to look after a house, had only dreams of having pretty children and a loving husband… to me, this was a dream come true.

When my first child was born, a beautiful son, my husband was overjoyed. Always laughing; he was a proud man to have a son as a first child to inherit the Yesha Clan after him. I shoved all my love onto him… but I realized, now, that it was of no avail.

When women are soft spoken and weak, men of the family, even if it's your own child, takes over you like you are some insignificant object. My own son, at the age of mere three, started to treat me like I was a nuisance; always messing over his hair and clothes and telling him about manners. It was when he was four, he told me straight to the face that men of the Yesha Clan and that too of the Main Branch, weren't supposed to be fussed over.

The betraying of love made me fall on my knees. From that day, I yearned for a little beautiful girl that I could dress up and teach, someone I could shove all my love onto and she, in turn, won't be embarrassed like my son and my husband to appreciate my love and return it back. I wanted a daughter.

My wish was granted after some time but… everything changed with her.

My husband accused me for cheating on him; he shouted and verbally abused me. He had thought that the child wasn't his… maybe he still believes that but the truth was… my new daughter, a strange red head, was his. Even after several proves and tears, my husband still doubted me. Only after a DNA test, did he change his views and realized it wasn't me at fault.

The elders said that my little girl was cursed and should be thrown out of the Compound immediately in order to avoid bad luck. I had begged my husband not too… I had literally fallen on my knees and begged him not to.

It was the first and last time when he had agreed to a request coming from me after so much begging… and thus, she was kept as a member of the family.

But she wasn't treated like one.

My son and my husband hated her. Cursed, they called her. I would find her crying in her room most of the times and I could only comfort her. I shoved all my love on her and she appreciated it… like I wished she would.

Red eyes. Red hair. Pale face. To me, she was a gothic beauty… a beauty that can kill if somebody glanced at her. A beauty that can flutter every emotionless man's heart and envy every girl in the whole village. To me, she was even more beautiful that I ever was.

But she was hated. I had to watch her cry every time my husband slapped her or my son called her names. I had to watch her in pain every time she went outside of her room and into the streets of the compound. I had to watch her fight with her inner self every time people stared at her and talked loud enough for her to hear. I couldn't understand… I couldn't help her.

It was after some time when I realized that using words such as "patience is a virtue," or "One day, they all will love you," were only ways of giving her fake hope. As I watched her grow, I couldn't help but feel that my little girl was going to get bruised way too many times for my liking.

When she turned four, I caught my husband signing a pact with the Hyuuga Clan to sell her off, either as a wife to an aged man or as a servant. I had yelled back then… I had yelled that I would leave him and take her with me to some far off land.

I didn't know it could work like that but my husband didn't sign the pact. I knew, maybe from the bottom of my heart, that he had a reputation to keep as the heir of the Yesha Clan. I knew he wouldn't let me go.

But I also knew that he wouldn't let me keep her… not forever. He made it clear that night, as I was slapped across the face, that my daughter was a demon that wasn't a part of the Yesha family… she wasn't human. She was cursed. He told me not to treat her like a family member in order for me to see her around in the same household. He told me that she had to go one day.

The next day, I didn't prepare her favourite meal… that day; there were no hugs, kisses or warm baths. That day, there were no words with fake hope in them.

The agony grew inside me as I watched her look at me in desperation and need… but I couldn't take her hand. Because if I did… she would be gone before I can tell how much I loved her. That I could kill my whole family only for her… that I could kill the whole world, with my meek strength, only for her.

I watched her come home everyday from where… I did not know. Sometimes I went to bed without seeing her for the whole day… sometimes I made her favourite as an excuse to cook. I hated myself for being such a mother. I hated myself for treating her like she didn't exist to me anymore. I hated myself so much that if it wasn't for the excuse of seeing her face once in a while, I would be long dead by now.

* * *

It had been three straight days since I had seen her. She hadn't returned home. I kept giving myself hope that maybe she had went on her first mission outside the village but all that fake assuredly died when I heard Kakashi with my husband, talking. As I had put the tea down, I found out that Kimiko hadn't gone for training for two days … after she had disappeared into thin air at her last mission.

My husband, hurtfully for me, acted that this Kimiko person was someone he wasn't familiar with. Kakashi took his leave soon after that… probably thinking that my poor Kimiko deserved it.

It was the third day and I hadn't seen her. I couldn't sleep the whole night and I felt relatively very weak. I wanted to snap at everybody that interacted with me and I wanted to do nothing except cry the whole day.

Sombrely, I walked upstairs to clean the house. I had done hers only yesterday and I knew, as she wasn't there, that it wasn't spoiled yet. Kimiko, surprisingly, was a very neat and tidy person. The very thought made my heart clench… I hadn't groomed her much into a lady. Whatever she was doing and whatever she could do was with her own power. Living in a family but with no guidance. Living in a world full of people but no one like her… the very thought was agonizing.

I was about to go to my son's room when I froze suddenly. There was something very sharp in the air… something that made me gag a little… something I was very much familiar with.

Blood. The sharp smell of the crimson liquid drifted in the air like a plague, making me light headed. I held my breath and tried to gather myself up. Nobody was at home right now… how was there a scent of blood? I sniffed the air again hesitantly and my face got even paler.

I had a weakness to blood. Like so many other weaknesses… blood was something I avoided. But being married into a family of ninjas, I had to tender to wounds all the time. Although my experiences with blood ranged from different levels, I had still not overcame the stink of the blood and the gruesome colour that seeped from human flesh itself.

Bravely, I sniffed the air again, the ting of sharp iron killing my throat as I closed my eyes and made my way towards the source.

I froze when my eyes snapped opened and I found myself facing Kimiko's room in front of me. Tears of shock and fright gather into my eyes as I pushed opened the door and tried not to faint.

* * *

I could feel someone touch me. The fingers that contacted with my skin were heavenly soft and the continuous murmuring of words, which I admit I couldn't understand, was amazingly comforting to me. I could hear the rushing of water from faraway and the constant wet warm feeling on my body as though it was being cleaned by a piece of cloth. I could hear what seemed like screeches or wails from faraway… maybe somebody had died and everybody was crying on that person's funeral.

And then everything was silent and warm as though the foreign feeling inside of me had escaped far away, into the thin air. Like it was placed by something so much warmer.

And it smelled even better. Rose water and lavender. My head rested on nothing but the softness of silk.

I wanted that moment to last forever.

But when I opened my eyes, my gaze slowly adjusting to the now not so painful light, I knew what the source of such affection was.

She was crying silently, murmuring a prayer under her breath, caressing my hair with such tenderness that I wanted for it to go on forever and ever. I was lying on her lap; her Kimono was wrinkled because of my head.

It was after some time when our gazes met and she stopped murmuring and crying. Her devastated expression was replaced by one of relief.

"Kimiko! Are you ok? What happened? How are you feeling?"

The worrying bombardment of questions made me want to cry. I had never thought that I wouldn't be alone when I woke up. I was glad that my mother was with me even though she despised me. As I dazedly watched my mother's falling tears and those worried lines on her forehead… I realized that watching my mother getting worried about me, like I had thought before, wasn't fun and appealing at all.

I opened my mouth to say something reassuring, to stop those flowing tears and that worry on her face that made my heart beat, but I had no words. How can one person comfort another when he had never been comforted before himself?

Words of comfort were foreign to me.

"Kimiko?" My mother whispered as she watched my relieved expression towards her. She threw her hands around my neck and crawled up beside me in my bed. Her body warmth and her fragrance of rose water were so comforting that I wished that it could last forever. I sighed in comfort and tried not to go to sleep again.

"Mo-mother?" I managed to say, trying to hide my weak chapped voice as best as I could but failed.

"What happened Kimiko? Who hurt you like this? Tell me!" She wailed, hugging my tightly and protectively.

Who hurt me? Who could hurt me mother… the same old damned thing inside of me that is eating me away. That made me cursed. That made my life into a living hell.

I wish I could tell her that but then again… I refused to acknowledge the thing inside of me any longer so I stated something I knew wouldn't convince her.

"I don't remember," My throat hurt but surprisingly my voice was becoming stable by every minute.

My mother stared at me with her eyes wide and still filled with tears. She wore an expression of betrayal and hurt and although she was silent, I could hear what she was thinking. She wasn't expecting that lie from me.

And then her face relaxed into one of acceptance and tears started to fall again. The expression tore me apart and I moved closer to her, trying to comfort her without any words.

"Kimiko… I am sorry. I am really sorry," she sobbed, burying her head in my neck. I felt tears gathered in my eyes.

"Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong!" I argued… my voice now normal as it was ever before.

She continued to sob as I sat up against the pillows and allowed her to do so. Not knowing what to do, I patted her head in an awkward manner but it only increased her wailing and I thought maybe my touch was painful to her so I quickly pulled back my hand.

"Mo-mother… please… stop crying. I am sorry," the words of comfort were so foreign to me yet I still whispered them to her in a desperate manner. I couldn't believe myself that I had once wished for her to cry for me and worry about me. It made me, now, feel like crap.

"Are you crying because of me mother?" Insecurity was coming over me and I felt self-conscious about choosing my words and how I was acting. Maybe unconsciously I had hurt her… bad. Maybe I destroyed everything. Maybe the _thing _inside of me had destroyed everything.

A fear gnawed my heart as my mother's hands tightened against my body. Tears still running down my face, she looked at me as though I was the mother and she was the child.

"Kimiko… please… p-please forgive me," her voice was nothing more than a whimper.

Confused and miserable, I looked at her, not knowing what to do and what to say. From below, I could hear footsteps and the sliding open of a door. My mother stiffened at the sounds too and held me even more closely.

"I love you, Kimiko… I will always love you,"

"Mo-mothe-"

"I am sorry that I have been such a bad mother,"

I wanted to refuse but everything seemed to be such confusion for me. There were calling from downstairs and my mother just motioned me to listen and not talk.

"I am sorry that I wasn't strong enough for you,"

Where is this going?

"I have always loved you… from here," and as though it would make any sense, she put a hand on her left breast, indicating it to her heart. I just cocked my head at her, confused but I could feel a tinge of happiness bloom inside of me slowly. My mother loved me. Before she could open her mouth again, I blurted out loud

"Mother… I love you too! A lot!"

Even to me, it sounded so childish and she blinked at me in a shocked and sorrowful expression. The voices were coming louder and there were heavy steps on the stairs as somebody came up haughtily.

"Th-than… than you must believe that I will do everything for your betterment, I will stop the pain,"

Hope.

That was the emotion that came over me at that second. Inside of me, I could feel the creature stir uneasily as though something bad was going to happen but I ignored it and hushed his sudden alarming voice. I would trust my mother that has always loved me and I would rather listen her then a demon that had tried to kill me before.

Why would I listen to such a thing?

As though desperation was the peak of my existence, I clutched my mother for dear life and looked at her with tears in my eyes.

"Ne… Mother, please… stop the pain. Stop it. Make it go away,"

The pain. The pain of hatred. The pain of being cursed. My mother would make it go away for me. She would do it because she loved me and cared for me. Then when it would be all over, she and I will live happily ever after. I will never complain or wish. I will listen to my parents and be a good little sister. I will donate all my savings to the poor. I will be a good ninja and a good person.

My mother was promising me a life where there was no demon. She was going to make the pain go away and allow me to rest in solace.

The voices became louder and there were banging of doors. The demon inside of me stirred and slithered yet I silently begged my mother to do her magic… to make the pain go away.

"I will,"

And to my shock and horror, her hands immediately went for my throat. Clasping my already strangled throat close with her hands, she felt no pity as her nails dig into my skin and even more pain shot through my body. I opened my mouth to scream but no voice came out. My lungs screamed for air and I felt like I was experiencing the death penalty all over again but this time… I couldn't tear my eyes from my mother's determined face.

She was killing me.

She was taking away my life.

She had lied to me again.

Even though she said she loved me… why was she doing this?

Why?

Tears blurred my vision and I felt the demon inside of me snarl.

"_Phoenix…"_

I was losing my vision, my head, my heart… my everything. I could feel the blood escape from my neck. I could hear muffled up yells from the door... I could feel insanity coming over me.

The Phoenix took its colour. Before I knew it, my eyes turned more crimson and my skin burned, making the murderer of a mother gasp as her skin got heated up and get slightly burned but she tightened her grip. Why was she so determined to kill me? Didn't she say that she would take away the pain? Was this her way to take away the pain?

"_**Let me kill,"**_

"_Save me, Phoenix,"_

I could fear everything burning and suddenly my vision was clear and all my senses were back and refreshed. I knew how I looked like at the state. The ends of my hair were on fire and were flying about. My pupils were yellow slits surrounded by a fiery crimson.

I could see my mother scream as a burst of fire erupted from my body and pushed her away.

"_Don't…"_

"_**Let me…"**_

"_I said don't!"_

And the fire disappeared and so did my furious appearance and I was left with my choking self. I felt weak and sad and the blood oozing from my neck didn't make anything better.

I looked at my mother with my poor blurry vision and was shocked to see my brother and father there too. It felt like another nightmare, another problem, another head aching sorrowful tale that I had stepped into again. The Phoenix was angry and it confused me even more as it had, itself, tried to kill me before. The pain inside me was bubbling and I felt as though something was stuck into my throat. The blood was flowing so easily down my neck and it soaked my once clean clothes wet. Yet, I tried to push it away… my physical pain and my emotional as I waited for the three figures in front of me to attack me.

What kind of hope am I indulged in?

Is this really a time to wonder such things?

My father and my brother had witnessed everything; that mother was choking me and killing me and yet, they were still standing there like statues, staring holes at me as though I was at fault. That pushing someone, even if it was mother, away from me with my cursed power was wrong. That it was me, who was dying, was at fault.

What was I hoping for? Or still… what am I hoping for still? That father will realize that he had been treating me like crap and would try to nicer? That brother would realize that however a sibling looks like; it is his responsibility to look after her? And mother…?

There was silence for the little confused part of my conscious that had suddenly slithered alive before at the sense of 'hope' but slowly it was dying.

Hope, for the person I had the most for and was clinging desperately for it, had completely vanished.

My brother bent towards my mother as though shielding her from me. His face was stone cold and his eyes were burning with anger and hatred. My father had the same expression yet his was more composed than his future younger self. Their silent anger was only broken of the rhythm of mother's soft crying and my loud panting.

My father stepped forward and I stiffened immediately, waiting for his frontal attack. Maybe it would be some water jutsu… or maybe he will do something to my head. Maybe…

"Get out,"

"_Eh?"_

I stared at him in shock and fright, my lips whimpering slightly as I tried to register to what he had said.

"W-wh-?"

"You are no longer a part of this household… let alone the clan. Get out of the Yesha property this instant,"

"_Was he… "_

"I disown you,"

I felt a sudden sickening feeling come over me suddenly. The monster inside of me has suddenly become motionless too and I didn't like the sudden change of events. I felt cold sweat suddenly cover myself and I felt even weaker than before.

I stumbled out of the bed in sudden shock, retaliating what my father was saying.

"Wh-Why?" I stuttered out in shock, "Why? I didn't do anything…"

"You are a disgrace. A monster. You are hurting the Yesha Clan. Such a… thing is not needed. You attacked your mother who has defended you since you were born. If it wasn't for her… I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago,"

I stood still; my mind dazed that it didn't even registered my eyes to cry. I watched the stone faced of my family and the hypocrisy of my mother, crying as though she was the one who was at fault whereas I, the devil child, was becoming disowned.

"Father…"

"I am no longer your father,"

"B-But," I was panicking, "She… Mother… she tried to cho-"

"Not another word! Get out! NOW!"

His bellowing yell made the whole world go still. I felt like there were many out of the main house who was watching us eagerly to; like as an anticipating movie, each and every one of them wondering what will happen next.

"Kiyoshi… kick her out,"

My so called brother was at my side at once, his strong hands grabbing my already exhausted and weak arms harshly and dragging me out of the room in a matter of seconds. I stumbled over my feet as he pulled and I tried to struggle out but it was of no use. Wide eyed and scared, I stared at my father cold emotionless expression as he stared down at me from his egoistic height. I stared and stared… embarking the expression… embarking the events… embarking everything in my mind forever… never to be forgotten again.

"_Is it really going to end like this?" _

I was almost at the door of my room… after that… I will lose sight of him… and her. My wavering eyes fell on my mother's shocked expression as she stared back at me petrified, as though she had no idea what was going on. Her foolishly innocent expression made something inside of me tick off.

It was all her fault.

"_**What you have gotta lose now?"**_

"Why?" I yelled at her, struggling from my brother's harsh grip which suddenly eased at my first time angry screams, out of curiosity. Suddenly I wanted to scream everything at her… it was all her fault.

"You said that you were going to HELP me! This is your entire fault! I thought I could trust you!"

"Oye! How dare you…" My brother started jerking me slightly but I knew… he was curious. I knew he wouldn't pull me away out of the door that easily. Especially when things, to him and father, were becoming so interesting and entertaining…that the little devil monster was finally yelling and that too at the person they least expected to.

"_I am entertaining you all eh?"_

"You used me!"

"_I was always an entertainment wasn't I?"_

"You are the worst! A hypocrite!"

"_Enough is enough!"_

There was a sudden fire inside of me but it wasn't related to the phoenix at all. The fire included of hatred and revenge… Of anger and defence.

"I will show you all," This time I faced my father directly in the eye and suddenly I was glad I saw a ting of surprise come into his eyes for a second, "I will show _you. _You will regret this. All of it. Who do you think I am? I am not your child… whether you disown me or not… I was never your child. I belong of the phoenixes. And I am the one who is going to decide what your fate is. I am _not __**cursed**_," My voice thickened as the phoenix spoke suddenly, taking the words out of my heart and out for everyone to hear. My brother yelped suddenly and let go off me immediately. I was burning but I knew that I wasn't in the phoenix's form. It was just an intimacy… to scare the one who scared me off.

"_**It is you that is cursed. You mistreated the child of the Godly Power and blessings. Your fate will definitely be one of pain and suffering,"**_

I turned out slowly without another glance at my pitiful shocked mother and glanced at my brother who was backing away from me slowly, like a frightened coward. I gave a sneer and walked out of the door myself, with no one to drag me out.

Down the street and out of the gates, I felt the fear of the Yesha people, who had been spying through different techniques, grow. I could hear the children suddenly awakening from their clueless slumbers into screams of the adults and the panic that suddenly arose from all the over the place. As I walked, the windows were shut quickly and prayers were said. As I walked away, into the forest and thus nowhere else to go, I could hear curses from the main house and my father sudden retaliation against mine.

"Who do you think she is? I am the leader of the legendary Yesha Clan. I can even kick her out of the village… no the country!"

An insane small smile came over my features as tears began to suddenly sprout out of my eyes. My energy was gone, my throat was dry and my everything hurt beyond repair. The blood in my neck was still flowing the entire time and the magic seemed to suddenly disappear as I fell on my knees, clutching a tree trunk for support. Shaking badly and sobbing silently, I could hardly let the air inside me. I felt hot but it was because I was sick and weak. This temperature suddenly wasn't comfortable at all and I wanted to suddenly cool down. To suddenly… just…

With that… I vomited all over the ground and my phoenix slithered inside of me as though judging my sudden feverish state.

"_**You have chosen the wrong path,"**_

"_Shut up. You are inside of me. I am __**not**__ inside of you. I chose whatever. You are a mere tool. A nothing. What you and I had… is all gone. Don't you fucking think that this incident proves of the fact that we are close buddies again and I have forgotten everything. You… hypocrite,"_

Seriously… everyone and everything… should just break.

* * *

**Finally! A new chapter to this story! Sighs. Writing in this detail when you don't have time to write... wow... it takes out everything from me. D:**

**Anyhow. This chapter gave me a lot of trouble. I wrote it whole and just had to edit it (about like three to four months ago. :p) but suddenly my computer spazzed out at me and didn't save (even though i saved it!). So i had to write it again which was really tiring! D: SO that is the reason why this is SO late! :(**

**The next chapter, compared to this one, will be up quicker but no promises. x'D And please excuse any mistakes because it was HARD to edit this. x'D**

**Hope it was enjoyable and worth the wait. **

**Word count of this chapter: 6000 words! o.o''**

**And special thanks to **TearsThatNeverFell **for the special inbox message. Even though i said it would be up earlier, life's been busy. Thank you for reading and liking this story. :)**


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